I have one question.
For no one, actually, but myself.
Do I go back to writing? Aku dilema sebenarnya.
Like I said, I want to go back to music. Tapi entah kenapa rezeki masiih menarik aku ke sana. Bukan nak menolak, tapi rasanya masa nak move on.
I mean, not to sound boastful, but I think I've done it all when it comes to writing. Covered everything, now I wanna return to my first passion - music.
Aku belajar pon sound and audio engineering dulu, so bank gunakan serba sedikit ilmu diterima skali skala.
Besides, I believe in passion, and maybe my passion for writing isn't as strong as it used to be simply because aku rasa takde benda yang aku lom wat.
Nama je wartawan hiburan orang kenal aku. People in the business who have been around long enough will know I've always been known as the 'jack of all trades'. Zaman dulu ko hantar aku ke mana saja, aku mampu nak wat apa yang diperlukan.
I learned from the best, thanks especially to friends who were working in the wires services like AP, AFP, Reuters...
Memang kami dalam banyak aspek, kami banyak kena belajar, and I was lucky to work with so many good journalists from so many agencies untuk curi pengalaman meka throughout the years in so many fields.
The experience, skills have been invaluable and I treasure all of it.
Somehow now... I've chosen my path at the crossroads of my career, and I don't want to second guess myself. Still, can't help if this is not just some form of mid life crisis in wanting to make such a drastic change.
I've always been almost impulsive, which has never been good. But it's opened doors I never knew existed.
At most we fail, right if we fuck up?
Standing outside the fire. That's the title of Garth Brooks' song. A line of it goes, 'Life is not tried, if it's merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire'.
And maybe, not taking risks is not living. So perhaps this is the best for me.
We'll see where this takes me. I'll make up my mind six months from now. For now however, wish me all the best. Packed with projects for January and February and I probably will think about my direction in March or April - if I need to.
Oh well... life's so short you never know whether it's worth preparing that far into the future as well as it may never come.