Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Looking back

Had a long talk with some friends yesterday.


2011 has been a strange year, but it's laid the foundation for my new year.

Bab personal, 2010 was the year of getting burned by people I trusted. 2011 was about building a support network of people I trusted who similarly needed the emotional support to pull through the same shit I was going through, biar personal or professional.

Then as 2011 drew to a close, I was forced to make many hard decisions.

My friends had different priorities, as did I.

So like it or not, it was about moving on.

Friends come and go, but for the few who truly stay dear to you. Aku masih sayangkan kawan-kawan aku... cuba memang I have cut ties with quite a few of them willingly because I see us all going a different path. But lain dari 2010, it wasn't because they were assholes. In 2011 it was about the maturity of growth and how I see all our plans not going in tandem with that of others'.

So it's cool...

I am blessed to have new friends in my life, those who perhaps understand me more.

One thing for sure is, I have learnt the biggest lesson in 2011 - to learn to let go.

Of frustrations, anger, disappointments. Every day is a new day, and holding on to the past never helps.

I compartmentalize all that negativity into a little package in the back of my mind, to serve only as a reminder of their existence once, to beware of things going a certain way so that it will never happen again.

I never open it.

Throughout the past year, I have felt bitterness and anger from those demons from my past, and I am now able to smile.

Now out of vengeance at their pain for not learning from the episodes that happened, but out of joy that I have finally embraced change and am ready to take on the future.

I can't say I've truly let go of the past and can smile to those who have hurt me, tapi cukup aku katakan aku tidak lagi berdendam kepada sesiapa. Leave and let live.

Each of us will go through many things in life. Whatever little shit comes my way, always brings more than enough blessings to make up for it.

So for my new life, I thank those who have been part of it before, good or bad, you have shaped me to be what I am today. And whether you think well of me or not, it definitely matters not as it's more important what I think of myself.

I have no doubts in my mind that things will fall into place.

Just for nostalgia's sake, I wish my old life would once a while say hi to me.

Sorry lah entry aku ni bercelaru sikit. Satu memang nak masuk mode blogging balik sebab da karat.

Keduanya sebab on medication ngan batuk bagai. Cait... nak start keja masuk tahun baru ni baru nak menjadi segala.

I will make more sense as we proceed, but thank you all my anonymous friends who now read this blog now that the hype of it all has died down.

Have a good night wherever you are, and here's to a new day tomorrow.

Reactions:

2 comments:

luv d entry! im on d same boat. leave & let live! bring it on 2012!! *winks*

time to grow up and move on eh? :-)