Saturday, December 19, 2009

I am a jerk

I feel like such a jerk.


Selama ni, for my birthdays, and Christmases, my parents have always given me what I wanted.

Up to the point, orang tua aku susah mana pon, meka tak penah nolak apa aku nak. Sampai aku mampu nak beli apa aku nak bila aku da mula bekerja.

So in all these years, I've prided myself on my taste. Interior decor, fashion and the likes.

In short - I have become a snob. A snob because I look at things and immediately pass judgement that they're cheap, or tacky, or just plain ugly, simply because I have set so-called standards towards everything.

Dalam usia orang tua aku da masuk 70an ni, dah lama I don't get anything from them. Which is ok for me. Sebab meka dua da tak keja, dan aku keja pon tuk nak tolong sara meka skali ngan kakak aku.

So this Christmas, aku happy sebab dapat payment this and that... dapat la belanja nak beraya sikit.

Da bagi meka duit lebih untuk belanja with the festive season around the corner, beli apa yang patut...

My story is on my dad. Dia ni pelik sikit. Tapi aku paham dia. He can be a pain sebab eccentric sikit. Which I think has been passed on to me, which of course my friends know aku ni very fickle about the smallest things.

My dad ni sebenarnya, memang jenis kerja keras. Bila da tak kerja ni, dia sibukkan diri dia ngan keja umah. Dia ni jenis old school sikit. Toothache ke demam ke... tanak jumpa doktor. Bayangkan dia penah sakit gigi, dia sendiri cabutkan. Arghhh!!! Bila aku nak wat dentures, dia kata wat pe.. masih leh makan.

Dalam memerlukan bantuan kita, dia masih keep his pride. Cam aku la... pride... sampai tahap kekadang kita sanggup bersusah hanya kerana maruah diri. No shortcuts about that.

Anyway, berapa hari ni aku nampak meka happy sikit, belanja sikit sana sini. Happy la aku...

And then just now, masa aku layan TV sorang sebab parents aku da nak tidur (they sleep early - kol 9 ke 10 meka da masuk bilik). Ayah aku tetiba kuar bilik and cakap, jam Ikea aku beli five or six years ago yang da rosak, buang la. Sebab nak masuk tahun baru, tak elok simpan benda yang rosak. Kira kena new start la.. superstition...

Tetiba dia kuarkan jam yang dia belikan kat pasar ke apa siang tadi masa kuar ngan mak aku. Aku tengok sekali - terus rasa grossed out.

It was... tacky. Cheap and tacky.

Ayah aku bangga. Kata cuma RM25 dia beli. Pas tuh dia kata gantunglah dalam bilik gantikan jam yang rosak tu. Berkali kali dia ulang.

I just said tanak. Mana taknya.. tak kena tema keseluruhan bilik aku siot. There goes my season of off white/cream theme. Aku cakap tanak. Berkali kali dia ulang letak dalam bilik. Aku kata tanak je.. semak.. sebab bilik aku da cukup barang. Elak cara elok sebenarnya cause I thought the clock was hideous.

It was a plastic clock that was made to resemble a cuckoo clock. It had a Mickey and Minnie Mouse figure in front with a plastic clock. Horror! I'm not 12 years old! If it was a real cuckoo clock, vintage ke.. suka la. This was just cheap.

Aku kata gantung je dalam dapur sebab dapur takde jam. Ayah aku biarkan je kat meja makan. And then masuk bilik.

Then the clock struck. Bunyi HAZAB SIAL! It was a precorded track of a bird chirping, followed by a cuckoo sound, with a strange whirring of a cheap recording. Horrible times a million.

Decided to go out. Aku kuar gate ke, ayah aku bukak pintu tanya nak keluar ke. Aku kata ya.

Didn't think anything about it. Balik tadi, felt guilty. But there was also a sense of horror he would hang it in my room.

Aku tengok, dia da remove the hall clock and put it aside, and then hung the hideous thing in the hall.

Aduh... and then it struck again. And I was further grossed out.


Erm... I know my dad just means well. Sebab dia takde pendapatan selain apa kita berikan, dia belikan apa dia mampu. Plus dia ni jenis spendthrift, to the point of being miserly. So I think he thought he was making a good acquisition. Plus on top of that, dia bangga dapat buy me something. I feel so bad. Bad enough to move that horror into my room to please him?

Entahlah... tengok esok camna. Aku rasa bersalah. Bukan harga jam tu yang menentukan nilai sebenar jam tu. My dad tried to do something nice - and I just brushed it aside. Damn... sentimental la pulak.

Maybe there's a way to remove that stupid chirping and cuckooing which is really disturbing and I can hang it in my room.. somewhere.

So much for the spirit of Christmas. I feel like the fucking Grinch. My dad does something nice for me and this is how I repay him. I feel like a fink.

...but the clock is so horrible....

Esok tengok camna. Tak suka la camni. Ni tengah update entry pon ayah kejap kejap bangun dan keluar usha aku dok kat ruang tamu ni. Erm... lagik la aku rasa bersalah.

Anyway...

Off the topic la sikit.

Anyone else notice how weird names today are getting. Example...


I seriously hope it's a nickname - and someone just doesn't have the sense to be appropriate. Kalao tak kesian ngan Shila.. merasalah laki ko Toyok. Just sounds so wrong.

Oops.. that's me being me again.

That's Santa crossing me off the 'nice' list.

Reactions:

11 comments:

joeee ... jam tu cantik daaa. ok ler tuh. muahahahahaha. merasalah katoonnn mickey & mimey!!! EPIC SIOT

Tapi tu buat aku rasa daddy nampak diri kau n terkonang kekdah nyer masa ko kecil dulu agaknya. well, maybe dalam hati dia kata ... aku nak beli jam cute ni tuk anak KECIL aku yang GEDABAK ... xoxoxoxoxo "You'll always be my baby boy" katanya


... kekekekeke. i love your dad ... send my best regards 2 ur parents and merry Christmas joe ... shallom imanuel my friend. Hugz

eh THF! you alive!!! ahahaha... lama tak nampak. hari tuh si will baru ngumpat pasal ko.

well.. the clock is now hanging in my room. pagi tadi dia da go on about it. syukur leh cabut the batteries for the horrible cuckoo sound. that's lessened the pain. LOL!

Hi Joe,

Before aku lupa, just want to wish you and family a Happy & Blessed Christmas ya!

Well, I'm a jerk too Joe, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. My parents memang orang susah, most of the time, ME, being an idiot, will throw my tantrums kalau I tak dapat benda yang I nak... Shesshhh, looking back at it, aku rasa bodoh sesangat!

Can't wait to go back to Kuching next week for Christmas,dah setahun aku tak balik kampung... Prodigal son!!!

Dah lah semalam my dad call and bgtau our 1 and only car at home got stolen masa my sister keluar with her friends... Lagilah aku feel sad & guilty this Christmas..

Tak apa Joe, I think I'll get a new car for my family, as a Christmas gift?? After all, bukan selalu kan...

Joe, thanks for the advice you gave me when I met you masa audition Anak Wayang dulu... I didn't get it, but will never give up! Your absolutely a great and kind guy, to me!

Thanks again Joe and again Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2010!

Devon

awwww.... the spirit of christmas gituh. ehhehe.. God bless... hugs.

Laaa Joe...daku nengok cantik aje jam tu (tapi daku pun memang tak de taste nye orang, tak yah orang lain ngata aku, aku kata sendiri)
The main thing is daku envy ko ada ayah yang mengasihi kamu dan peka tentang apa yang kau perlukan. Bapak daku dah meninggal, jadi tak merasa lah daku nak menerima apa-apa (kalau daku terima brg yang paling poor taste dari nya akan ku hargai bagai tiada ternilai). U still got him (lucky you!)

hi JOE..
merry cristmas!
Jam tuh comel je..

akumangkok : aku sedar. tu yang aku menghargai.. sometimes we tend to forget to appreciate small things. i am reminding myself everyday tuk bersyukur for them.

kakjahglamer : sabao je... nanti aku tanya ayah aku beli dari mana aku belikan tuk ko ek.

bukan ape joe, ayah u nak test samade u hargai bende murah atau nilai pemberian, tu je. Org tua klu nak bagi tak kira murah ke mahal, dia beli gak hahaha!!! merry xmas joe, me in Kuching.

bukan test. ayah aku memang camni. ekekekeke... but i love him, yes i do. merry christmas and happy holidays too...hugs.

apa kata.. you gantung jer hanya utk sementara. 2-3 hari jer gitu ker.. hanya cukupkan syarat jer.. pastu turunkan balik.. jam tu cantik..but it also not my taste jugak la..

ehehe... a little tacky kan ratna. but no, it's permanent. i look at it differently now. it's not a tacky made in china plastic cuckoo clock anymore. it's something from the heart from my dad whom i love so much. :)