Sunday, January 11, 2009

Love and Hate

There's a thin line between love and hate. And when people push you too hard, in an instant, you cross over.

Of course, it's hard not to be heartbroken, and that doesn't mean the love is gone. But it's no longer over someone - but something, which you believed was real, but wasn't for the other person.

Eight or nine hours spent in solitude to think really offers many conclusions.

When you're in love with someone, you blind yourself to their flaws. Their over-compensating for the inferiority issues, their continued choice of living in denial... everything including the very essence of mockery you put up with towards all things you regard as sacred - include learning the value and respect of honesty.

So when the other person says things which cut into you, you somehow bear it till the point you get pushed to the other side.

And everything in an instant - is gone. They say be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.

I think I made someone's day by giving them what they wanted. Hope they're happy with my gift.

I just hope that with the declaration of an end of everything, that the person can move on as I have. And with that I mean no hanging on to MY friends, or MY life, or MY everything. Go back where you came from and have nothing to do with me or my life again or bear the consequences. This is not a threat. It's a reality.

Go away! Be gone! Just like you choose to stay away when you think you want to, this time I'm saying STAY THERE. I've put up with enough bullshit.

Go to your friends and stop hounding mine and thinking they're yours. I sure as hell don't want your friends, so stop butting into my life by trying to make my friends yours. MOVE ON! Don't be a pathetic little shithead by trying to hang on to people you know from me, as if it doesn't matter.

It makes you look more pathetic, and proves a point how desperately in need of attention you are by seeking out validation from those around me. Dare I mention a little sad cause you want to be part of a world you never - and for sure no longer belong to?

I've always given in. Mengalah. What is said I have to follow. No more.

The motherfucking bitch is back in business. And you don't want to mess with me. Don't make me fight you for MY life and everything about it - you'll come out really bad. That, you can trust me on.

Sabar pun ada batasan. Setelah hampir dua tahun tahan segala, aku sudah takde masa nak melayan kerenah budak-budak.

See what you choose to - despite things being different. Believe the things you, and your friends visualise.

I wish you all the best. Now get out of my life. May you have everything you wish for. And may you live with the constant ringing of my words as a reminder with every action you take.

I swear one day, my words will hit you out of the blue - and you will then believe all I've said, and regret will have its hold of you. Oh you won't say it, and I won't know it. But you'll have to live with it. Good luck.

Meanwhile, this won't break me. I'm having pieces of me broken and scattered. But I heal well.

And the very person made of love - which you helped create, is now the very product of your hate and anger. I am what you have made me. Like it? Now just fuck off.

This are my parting words. Hell yeah.. of course I love you. Like this...

PS -Yeay dah abih noya. Korang mesti lega aku abih meroyan da kan... heh! Life returns back to normal. Sabar ek.. hidup ni kekadang kan kena drama. Eh nak tidur. Later today Mawi's event at Palace of the Golden Horses.

PPS - Thanks to my best friends who have been real with me and by my side. Love you guys... keep being real. Bear hugs to Faz, Ted, Juan, Red, As and everyone else. You know who you are.



Love your blog... Its so coming thru the heart and mind...