Sunday, April 06, 2008

Fizi Day

Planning nak wat review awal tapi seriously malas mendatang. Ari nih layan je Australia's Next Top Model cycle pertama satu musim! Dok ngadap laptop sampai juling.

Anyway... finally mustered up enough strength nak wat the ulasan. Erm... tatau la camna nak start. Lotih wo tiap minggu nak carut. Ko hengat senang?
Ok... on with the b*tching.

I really hate the intro. Kerana jeritan bingit AC tuh, the whole rock theme became a contrived parody of the genre. Instead of celebrating the glory years of rock kapak, ni nampak cam wat lawak busuk. Argh! I found it an insult to rock - and thank goodness cakap ngan Adlin later, he agreed.

Korang jangan kutuk... aku jiwa rock kapak gak ok! Dari zaman Ekamatra, Febians dan BPR, those were the days yang I would sleep with my minicompo yang my dad bagi layan Radio 1 tengah malam. Time tuh takde 24 hour radio stations lain dari tuh. Actually, masa tuh in the mid 80s, when I actually learned to tune into radio stations, it was between that and Radio 4 (ngan the dreaded double M - Munirah Murad, molot murai Janet Ambrose and Saidi Ahmad yang sebut American Top 40 as American Top 4-D)

Anyway thanks to Radio 1 - I got my first relationship punya song - tema la katanya, which was Suratan Takdir by Gersang - zaman Man Bai masih ada rambut. Damn.. no wonder la tak panjang cinta monyet aku tuh. Time tuh tak belajar gali maksud lagu lagik. Azab suwey terus lagu tuh... very the tak sesuai. I don't know why I thought it was like a love song yang sesuai for our relationship. Tapi time tuh tak silap darjah 4 ke darjah 5 jerk so leh maapkan ler. She didn't understand it either.

And smalam, there was nothing rock or or even kapak about it all. It was a parody of rock... a joke based on the genre, and an insult to the whole theme,

It was overall a night where everyone tried to fit in the theme, not just the pelajar, including AC, but failed miserably because they took stereotypes of what they THOUGHT rock was, and tried to put it across.

Like I said earlier, rock isn't just about eyeliner and tight jeans with leather jacket.

Yang tak jiwai rock tuh takpe sangat kot - but they end up believing that rock is about all that and screaming. Sad to see rock being presented so shallowly.

So AC still sucks for me, because as a host, again dia gagal, Gagal nak steer the show to a more believable rock showcase it was supposed to be.

Oh... and minggu ni teruskan wat mistakes. Contoh - perkenalkan Nubhan sebagai Nabil. And it's Chicken Little ek... bukan little chicken ngok!

Between that and his stupid jokes which no one got but himself, he's starting to suck more than ever, a feat we never thought possible.

So AC, get a real job, please. You are one of the singular reasons aku menyesal subscribe Astro. My rating for AC's performance?
(lima gas mask sebab kebusukan AC yang tahap toksik - and one extra strength muzzle to be strapped on him so he can't open his mouth pasnih)

The opening song started pun rasa pening da. Everyone came out screaming their intros because they believed that made it rock. Sama ada tuh or meka terpaksa nak jerit because of of that almost self-indulgent three and a half minute intro yang drowned everyone out... well almost.
Saida langsung tak dengar. The rest kena melalak to be heard above the music.

The worst jokes?

Naim yang masuk ala sawan melalak cam tak betol. And dare I mention Stanly yang cam badut lari masuk cam orang gila and then just went mental?

It didn't help we had to deal with AC screaming sana sini konon rock.

Toi and Naim jumping down was a waste of time, and si Naim lak amik kesempatan nak gi jumpa kakak dia which was a no-no. Amik la ko sibuk nak turun bawah tak naik naik da. Toi, your turn is coming up.

Kali nih rating pun aku nak kenakan kat intro.
(lima botol Febreeze tuk ilang kebusukan ya amat and bonus a whole range of Panadol products - mostly sebab Stanly, Naim dan AC)

Tapi aku slalu negative, so aku nak positive sikit, I have to give a high rating for tenaga pengajar yang bersungguh this whole week.

Whether the pelajar semua perform ke tak, nak wat camna kan?

I have to salute abang Ramli yang kisahnya sampai 12 jam seminggu, aku dengar dalam Akademi asik melayan Scary Movie menakutkan performance bebudak nih. Seb baik takde yang kes cirit hijau.

And the others especially in Siti Hajar and Syafie and even Genervie were so all out so they deserved praise as well.

Kak Fati, umi Fauziah and even Linda should be praised too for their effort nak groom bebudak nih yang some of them memang hopeless dan lebih dari layan bakal digelar mee segera bila kuar kang. I just hope yang bebudak tak perform kena sombat dalam jamban and flushed repeatedly to make sure they go down the sewage.

Pengkritik minggu nih pun aku nak bagik rating. Ogy kekadang over tapi it was painful to see her tone down camnih. Ning was occassionally veering off commenting on technical aspect of vocals.

Tapi yang bab Adlin nih aku stuju because comments dia yang paling banyak on the dot.
Overall, I thik though the whole bringing on Adlin was a sign cam Astro pening bab penerimaan peminat yang cam marah Ogy over.

Still, this concert, apart from silly things like them actually saying Stanly was hardworking and tried so hard blah blah blah lebih dari Lufya was just weird.
(dapat hearing aid dan cermin mata power tinggi sikit so they can HEAR and SEE clearly sebelom commenting - ada je komen tak betui... Ogy as of mark the most, and Adlin the most spot on)

Ok, now let's move to the actual show. Kali ni member aku Fizi (bukan nama sebenar) nak join illustate lak apa perasaan dia mengenai each performance. Kita tengok apa pandangan dia mengenai usaha bebudak nih ek. Being a person of few words, and since a picture speaks a thousand of them, mai kita lihat reaksinya with my review. Oh and sapa yang dirasakan manage to exude the rock star in them tambah dapat medal of honour gituh sebab tak malukan the genre.

Kira berjaya la execute tugas meka tuk menjulang rock nih instead of making it a joke like some of the kids did.

Pelesit Kota
Undoubtedly, vocals dia tak banyak sangat masaalah yang audible. If anything, I would give her as the best VOCAL performance of the night. It was a challenging, mosh fest of a song, tapi dia manage to carry it off without any major tanah runtuh effect.

Her movements were a little ala jalan cam pening pas nak headbang tak jadi (either that or sebab effect mabuk hairspray terlampau over kot), but definitely a wow!

She's not a rocker at heart, and dia nampak cam kejung atas pentas, melonjak lonjak cam kanak kanak Ribena, tapi overall, she did good.

Stacy is a chameleon and she adapts well to whatever genre. So far, she has been able to tackle things with no problem.

Setakat nih, definitely the MOST consistent performer, and in the lead when it comes to actual quality. Seb baik jumlah undian dia pun reflects the agreement of many, and let's hope that she continues her performance camni, because if she does, we may just... it's too early.. but we may just.. have another female champion.

Impossible? I think not.

Sentuhan Kecundang
Memang kalao ikut title, kecundang abih si Faisal nih.
Dari saat bukak molot, first note pun bukan cam angsa dicekik, tapi dirogol dan disula sekali!

Througout the whole freaking song, it sounded like he was singing to something else. Takde beza dia latih lagu ni seminggu ke, baru dapat. Tahap keazaban melampau sangat.

I coudn't find one part in the song which he did even remotely ok. Nih memang show menyakitkan telinga.

Excuse me while I wipe up darah dan nanah yang meleleh kuar jap out of my eyes and ears. Minggu depan pergilah dia... one more performance jer to deal with.

Still it was unfair that he is still remaining in the show. I said it before and I'll say it again. He and Ika make the perfect tone deaf pair. And he should have left much earlier together with Ika, before Yana.

Aku tatau camna bung Ramli and Co and brush him up, but at this rate, dogs would go beyond howling at the very first thing to come out of his mouth.

Aku rasa nak amik pam jamban yang dikhaskan tuk rating dia and shove it down his throat!
Does anyone else feel frustrated that out of 7,000 auditioned, the likes of him, Ika and Toi leh masuk sedangkan I'm sure, ramai lagi yang lebih berbakat dok kat luar hoping for such a chance to prove their talent - which he doesn't have.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart
I don't get the whole ad thing nak make it like everybody was trying to get the same hairdo. Erm.. apa kena ngan black and white lak? Trying too hard to get laughs. So AC.

But Nadia's performance wasn't. She was just ok. Well more than ok. Her English was laughable sebab sebutan banyak off gila.

But vocally dia memang pencabar Stacy. Even though she had more than a few minor glitches here and there vocally, I think her performance was OVERALL best performance, sebab she had everything, from stage control to vocal technique.
Apa dia kurang bab sebutan, she more than made up for it for the sheer power of her persembahan.

Wish they had someone else to do the back-up. Stanly memang sora buasir jer ngan sora meneran dia.

But back to Nadia, both dia ngan Stacy maintain (walaupon dia drop sikit sebab Umbrella), and they are the most consistent performers.

But both bring out different strengths and it's good to see that two girls are actually the best in the bunch.

Too bad adik-adik, kakak-kakak dan makcik-makcik lebih rela vote for cute boys (tak kisah la sotong ke tak ker sumbang ke tak ke janji merembes) dari real talents like this.

Seperti diagak, Alif dari segi teknikal ok ngan lagu nih. I think his voice has improved much and memang nampak (and kedengaran) kesungguhan dia berlatih tuh) has paid off.

Even though pose dia cam kelakar lak kekadang aku tengok, seperti berlakon teater lak - nampak sangat dia overdose mencuba and dramatise it lebih lak.
Dia ni memang kaku sikit, and I wish there was a way he could be whipped into having emotions that he could bring across time nak perform tuh.

One of the strongest vocals even though ada bits and pieces yang off. But than goodness he finally justified being one of my favourites by proving he can be more than just plain, boring and forgettable.

Not the best, but terbaik la so far.

Most improved of the week.

Masih ada harapan, but here's hoping he keeps it up and bukan stakat nak puas ati ngan persembahan yang comeback nih.

Please oh please someone smack some sense into him because he is one of the boys yang actually ada harapan beyond competition nih nak make it outside - IF he can actually learn what he's taught.

What is this???

Tika Dan Saat Ini
Aku da kata lagu nih memang kuat dan mampu nak help her turn her around so far. It's a sweet and nostagic tune yang many leh sing a long to. Cuma Lufya tak feel sangat even though I think she tried.

Blips here and there, and a couple of painful moments especially noticeable ujung nya...tapi dia pun banyak improve cam Alif.


Malas nak komen fashion actually because most were safe, and boring with a few accidents.

But which moron would think of this as even remotely related to rock???

Bodoh ke apa? Ke nak pakaikan baju dia ngan sleeve bedau sebab leh jadik tempat tampung air pas insiden minggu lepas.

Ni serious kes kena naya ngan wardrobe.

That purple bag like sack tuh perhal?? With the f*cking matching gigantic ribbon tuh, ni Jasmi amik dari wardrobe mom dia ke? Honestly!!! This is even a disaster, even for the Eighties. Ngan kembang and senteng kat ujung with the tacky puffed sleeves and weird motifs in yellow running down the length of her arm.


Someone sack Jasmi and Yoda already... PLEASE!

I know rock kapak was at its height in the 80s, but let's not go bapok here and think Ramlah Ram. Even kak Melah pun takkan pakai baju tuh tau! Burn it!

Takkan pilih baju tuh sebab puffed sleeves tu disumbat ngan absorbent material nak serap peluh ketiak kot? Other than that, I see no reason for that hideous dress!
(sambil top mata tanak tengok baju or I change my mind)

Opera Hidup
Muntah bukan muntah hijau da.

Ni aku siap muntah warna warni ala rainbow kaler da layan dia nih. And I think I was bleeding from the eyes too.

Kalao Faisal horror, at least dia TRY nak control sikit persembahan piala sumbangsih dia, tapi si Naim lak cam tak perasan dia hancur.

So berangan that he can actually cut it to be a rock star, but so salah. Just a dumbass rock - pala batu di ajar segala pun tak masuk langsung.

He looked wrong, he sounded wrong... what else can I say?

Dia, Faisal dan Ika leh bukak kelab angsa angsa terseksa.

Someone call the freaking SPCA!!!

Matilah!!! Angsa pun malu diletak dalam golongan yang sama kerana sound effect meka pun tak menyeksakan cam nyanyian si Naim ni.

At this point, a thought is creeping into my head. Konon nak kualiti sangat musim ni, siapa yang actually lepaskan Ika, Faisal dan Naim rasanya?
I think we all deserve answers!

Patahnya Sayap Malam
Ni persembahan rock yang bukan sayap jer patah. Penyanyi dia patah overdose.

I have now come to HATE his voice yang meneran paksa. Kalau pada mula aku rasa dia ada potential, starting from this performance I have lost all hope.
He sounds so damn contrived. Maksa sangart sora kuar.

He did no justice to the song, and he seriously does not deserve the top three dia asik dapat in voting.

Lagik satu aku da muak ngan alasan dia feeling classical padahal kalao seseorang yang ada kemampuan tu sebetolnya kalao nyanyi genre lain, takkan affect sampai segalanya hancur dan sumbang.

And what's with the cekikan angsa sound effect at the end????

I don't understand why anyone would comment kata dia ok.... seriously. He is overrated and underperforming.

Adlin was the only one yang perasan this whole thing was starting to become a comedy act but for some reason, ada agi ruang pengkritik nak puji dia.

And Stanly actually looked shocked yang dia kena kritik negatively by Adlin. Delusional is all I can say!

What song can he sing? Dah tiga minggu satu pun takde wow factor. He is so officially out of my favourites list.
(patut lime pam jamban tapi pas Ogy mintak dia jerit lagi skali and kata Oh God, that's scary! aku bagik monus tolak satu for that moment of truth)

Sepinya Sekuntum Mawar Merah
Her confidence and her performance lebih meyakinkan with every week. Still a lot of flaws, tapi kalao ikut graph pencapaian, she has outdone a lot of people in terms of improvement.

Betul kata Ramli seminggu lepas, where he said Saida kena improve lagik cepat sebab prestasi dia ketinggalan dua konsert.

Decent effort, tapi vocally, dia kena start beefing up suara dia. And stop touching her hair.

Aku tak paham kenapa meka meroyan kata dia tak honest and not true to rock. She was being herself and delivering the song in with her own flavour, which was ok. Takkan lagu tuh nak melalak ke feeling sora serak baru nak anggap rock.

Stereotypes don't work.

Semua tak true to rock but berapa orang yang aku bagik rock star rating. Lain tuh semua fake and wannabe posers trying to look and sound like rockers but failing miserably to even project any semblance of a rocker.

Lagik keji. Matilah kalao Bob Lokman ada, dia sound munafik lagik. Seb baik dia takde.

Kalao tak, kang cam Stanly, overrated with little performance.

Minggu depan no more discount da. Hope she bucks up because the competition is getting serious.

Summer Of 69
Aku tau majoriti awek awek mesti ngamuk hamun aku kalahkan that time of the month punya irritant punya effect.

He forgot part of his lyrics, mumbled some other parts, and mangled English with the remainder.

Sora takyah cakap la sumbang overdose.

Close to Faisal cuma beza tone dia lebih sedap.

Tuh jer la asik jadik penyelamat dia. That and rupa dia yang menjadi pujaan.
Lompat lak kejung semacam. Aduh... sapa yang jerit dia. Sapa yang jerit dia tuh mesti suka persembahan Faizal masa Smells Like TEENG Spirik.

I don't know what's wrong with pengkritik kata peningkatan sedangkan Ruang Rindu bosan pun tak seteruk mana.

And what's with the campak spek mata RM10 beli dari PS Boutique ke Uptown Danau Kota tuh? Seb baik campak kat kaum keluarga.

Kalao campak kat orang lain, risau jer kena campak balik kat muka dia. Worse still, dipulangkan ngan kasut. Terpaksalah aku balik kaki ayam kang (besides he doesn't deserve my Crocs)

Keunggulan Cinta
The whole segment feeling Jepun tuh perhal? Aduh...
He did better than Nubhan. but aiyo sora palsu kuar.

Kalao orang kepit halus, ni kepit feel sora jantan.
I am sorry but it doesn't work. It's so not him.

And showmanship tahap 80an tuh is not amusing even.
And why do they have to suak rambut dia kebelakang camtuh. The only person who can get away with that kind of forehead is Tyra Banks, and he ain't Tyra.

Forgettable and overrated sebab ramai overlook dia nya mistakes.

He didn't do too bad - but it just irritates me that some people actually think he did that good.
Seriously, aku rasa dia dan Stanly nih kan orang rasa hebat sangat even when they don't deliver. And that's a fact that I know many akan susah nak tima. But hey... I don't care. Because eventually when the kids come out, walaopon skang peminat kecoh ke apa katanya konon meka the greatest thing about, the truth is they end up in the bargain bin - that's even if they even get to record an album.

The easiest song to deliver for the night. No emotion, boring, and as interesting as watching a deer caught in the headlights ngan mata terbeliak dia.

Malas komen dia da. Dia dan Faisal da patut lama da kuar.

No matter what effort he puts in that's commendable, he'll never make it.
Honestly, dia nak lawan ngan sapa? Iwan dah takde... Mr Os tak wat album... what exactly is he supposed to be like.

Not WHAT and not WHO.

That was actually intentional.

I just cross my fingers and hope for another double elimination. Kalao leh nak dia dan Faisal belah skali kalao leh.

For me, right now, these two are the weakest in the competition at the moment, with the least potential, if they even have any, in the real music industry, to succeed.

Stop making Akademi Fantasia a laughing stock and throw them out.

Raja Lawak 3 kang meka leh audition agik.

Kalao tak keja je ngan Fear Factor - I'm sure they would freak a lot of people out.

Enter Sandman
Ok first of all, aku da kata, lagu paling kuat minggu nih belongs to Rina, selain Nadia and Lufya.

I enjoyed the performance immensely, but for two reasons only.

Satu, sebab Rina bertenaga dan bersahaja sangat, takde nak pikir overdose cam bebudak lain.

Secondly sebab lagu nih memang sedap.

For me it wasn't the best performance walaopon kita kat dewan headbang kaw kaw sampai pening. Pas abih performance mengah semua sebab overdose sorak.

It was the most FUN performance... ada beza tuh. Seronok tu aku akui tapi banyak sangat kelemahan.

Dari segi teknikal, English berterabur dan sebagainya. Ada that x factor but doesn't mean it was was that good.
Again, fun but not that good.
Tapi bab rock.. memang nenek rock!

Menuju Puncak
Choreography diubah balik ke asal sebab banyak fancy moves scrapped in anticipation of controversy as aku agak patut menjadi kerisauan.

Geram time ni sebab ramai vokal masih hancus! Bab vocal antara paling hancur time ni leh dengar sumbang mambang is Stanly.

Paling malas is Faisal, dok dok pun dia berdiri pose malas.

Step tetap cam last week, awal start tuh power tapi dari chorus semua takde stamina. Sora not much improvement, despite tengok Diari beriya latih.
Still very disappointing.

At the end of it all, da agak one of these weeks mesti ada double punya pas stunt meka tarik beg kuar arituh tiga.

Konon meka takkan wat lagik, but suddenly CAKKK!!! Opocot! Terkejut aku. Not!

Anyway, penyingkiran Naim tu memang patut, but aku kesian ngan Lufya. She has not been that good, but kalau ikutkan performance, dia patut kuar pas Faisal and even Stanly, yang skang da out of my favourites list pas tiga minggu tak perform up to expected standards.
Gedik lebih tapi hakikatnya sora lom skali pon yang kurang sumbang.

Overall - konsert ni bebetul konsert - but not the best yet. Still needs lot of improvement.


Tidak perlu ok! Aweks sapa tuh nak expose lebih lebih.

Owh... sebab overrun the only thing I like is the actual elimination announcement yang bawah dua minit da umum. Yeay!

I guess that's it for now.