Monday, March 24, 2008

Tugasan lagu Akademi Fantasia minggu kedua

Sebelum kita startkan review kita tuk ari nih, semua bangun... berdiri tegak, start pointing your fingers in the ai and sing with me now.

Maaaaaayyy firstttt.... lambang sejattiiiii... Mayfirstttt.... teeennnntuuu di haaaatiiii... berjaya cara Mayfirst..... the Mayfirsssssttt waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!

Now everyone can sit down. Kita teruskan dengan ulasan Diari hari nih.

The day started with Yana's goodbye. Sedih siot.... tengok terus aku nitiskan air mata
NOT!

Air mata kegembiraan ada kot.

Yawn... They unveiled the peratusan masa tutup undian. Not much of a surprise sebab dengar four of my five favourites dalam top four. Cuma Alif je dok bawah sikit.

Stanly 12%
Stacy 12%
Nadia 10%
Saida 9%
Riz 8%
Faisal 7%
Naim 7%
Rina 7%
Alif 6%
Toi 6%
Nubhan 6%
Ika 4 %
Lufya 3%
Yana 3%

Tuh dia... Masih ada orang Mesia yang sanggup vote Ika katanya. I mean honestly, some of the votes just reflect how deluded and ignorant (and hard of hearing) some people are tau.

Anyway... moving on snippets here and there masa reharsal kat Dewan Sivik.
Riz sibuk melantak, nak lagi pastuh katanya. Matilah feeling Oliver Twist gituh "Please sir... may I have some more"

Tebalnya Saida kena tempek foundation. Stacy lak kena pantiskan kening, Nubhan kena trim rambut (takde beza tetap berserabai mamat nihk)
And in the end semua kena tempek tepong komak lima inci.

On to rehearsals. Ok.. so it looked as hancur as it did on the night of the show. Merasalah ngamuk Linda.

"HANCUR!"

Obviously they didn't change that much when it came to the night of the performance.
Lufya kena marah sebab tertinggal benda. Merasalah Shafiq marah, Apa yang hilang ke tertinggal tuh. Mic pack kot? Amik ko... da la hampir kena halau balik Saturday night, pastu kena marah.

Oh DVD player rupanya... pinjam je ke? Lor.. ingat diberikan terus rupanya on loan jerk ke.
Matilah kena denda basuh pinggan seminggu. Terus Lufya "OH SHHHHH....!!!!"

Heh... carot jer gurl. Let it out. Unhealthy tau nak bottle it all up like that.

OH MY GOD!!!!

What the f*ck!!!

The biggest waste of time - so not cute tackiest gimmick of them all


A talking cam! How cheesy!!! Perlu ke nak letak that high pitched voice? Siapa la jadik sora sebalik cam tuh. Tak perlu ok. Hengat apa??? Mulut Laser Era ke? Very the tak perlu ok!
Just like the taglines by the pelajar. Time konsert je muncul. Semua lemau tol taglines.

Yang aku ingat lagik, time konsert, si Stanly punya.

Matilah au au ingat dia sebut tagline dia... BUASAAIIIIRRRRRRR!!!

Matilah ko buasir!

Rupanya, "Wah Seh".

Off topic lak... the only thing good out of it was leh mencarut Riz pasal bab makan lebihan. Still, the last thing we need is to see the kids spend more time on the cam.

Lufya kem salam adik dia dapat 9A tuk SPM. Er... big effing deal. You'll see her next week ma kang kuar. Three minutes wasted on that bit.

Hypocondriacs alert!

Doctor check katanya.

Naim was the first.
"So, apa ceritanya encik Naim?"
"Cita? Saya selalu ngantuk" (I think that's what he said)
"Betul? Lain takde?"
"Pastuh, malam tido, batuk... uhuk uhuk uhuk."

What the....
Saida low pressure lak...
Oh what the... the f*cking camera speaks again. This time enter frame lak nak borak. I wonder who's behind the voice? Orang sama yang slalu enter frame ker??? Matilah kalao yang tak paham dok terdiam baca sambil garu pala.

Nora, I know you know who I'm talking about kan.. kan... kan...

Kak Fati tanya gosip paling panas. Kamera tu pun sibuk jawab.

"Yang paling panas... Stanly korek hidung!!!"

WHAT THE #$%^&*????!!!!!

"Lepas tuh kan, taik hidung dia, dia gentel gentel... eeee!"

WHAT THEEEEEEE???!!!

You've got to be joking right? What is this? Very the Taska Kampung Pelir Hitam ok. Mana taknya performance semua pun end up camtuh punya standard. They sure try to dumb it down in there to desperately give things a cute appeal. So wrong...

Tanya pasal sapa minat sapa.. cam bangang tuh kata orang tuh da takde.
"Siap main main mata lagik."

WHAT THEEE???!!!
We promoting dyke relationships here or what? We know who they mean right? Very the tak perlu sebab orang buta pon leh nampak.

Moving on to bacaan wasiat.

Ika baca? Tak sesuai. It should be someone else reading hers.
The whole thing dedicated to Riz menggelikan. Eew! Buta ke? Oh nevermind. Nak mandi sat - geli dengar. My skin is positively crawling. No wonder she was the only one yang tak b*tch about him. Merembes katanya. Ok la.. Yana jenis agresif like Nadia cakap. Sesuai la dapat dancing queen.. I mean drama queen. Matilah ko podium queen. Ok lah tuh. Opposites attract kan?

After that bit - a whole load of bull with everyone wishing Yana the best. Yeah, right - lies! Tunggu ler... tengok kalao meka keep in touch if they're not forced to live under one roof.
Aku suka statement pesanan Saida.

Here's looking at you, babe!



"Ah, akak nasihatkan supaya Yana lebih berhati hati dalam berkawan ke apa apa. Nasihat akak, yer."

Eh.. Riz jeling marah je. Terasa ke?

Sentap occay, uols!

Saida has an eye for knowing who the real person is behind that fakeness.
Suka statement Lufya gak.

"Satu pesan Lufya, jangan putus asa. And kalau kat sini orang tu action, kat luar sana, banyak lagi ah, jangan give up."

Riz jeling sentap lobang terpecah. Matilah. Drama Queen sentap jer keja... merasalah kena pecah lobang yang tahu.

Apa??? Korang ngata aku lagi...??? Aku sora vast... aku cantik.. aku... aku... aku... huwaaaaaaaa!!!


What's up with the tepuk Fantasia. Semua nak jadik pengakap sangat ke. Matila sapa mintak masuk girl guide lak dan pandu puteri lak. Hah... matilah aku pecah perot nih. Yang tak paham tetap blur.

Sesi ngan kak Fati. A load of BS from the kids. BORINGGGGG!!!

Second episode, konsep Twilight Zone lak. Memasing start ngan Faisal cita time baca Yasin, dengar orang gelak, while Stanly rasa kena hempap or something like that. Talk about a challenge nak hempap Stanly. Cuba hempap yang kicik sikit.

Besides when it comes to stories of the supernatural, ramai lagik leh cita memacam from every season pasal all sorts of stories pasal kena kacao. Nak juicier ghost stories leh?
Anyway, masa meka pindah masuk Akademi, there was a prayer session kat the gudang yang merangkap Akademi dan hostel.

Heh... all I can say is, whatever it is soal benda halus ni, the real scary ones yang bebetul horror yang kita lihat dan dengar on stage. Meka lebih frightening than anything else we've seen or heard.

Exorcise them!!!! Don't vote them. Shoo! Out! Out! Out! Matilah meroyan sorang.

Tuh semua agik hantu yang lebih menakutkan.

Eh... hah.. nak kena sesi exorcism da. Sesi basuh by tenaga pengajar.
Naim mintak maap pada tenaga pengajar.
Katanya dia rasa dia tak biasa and nervous walaopon memula confident gaban kerana apa??? LIGHTNING???

""Cahaya cahaya tuh..."

Lighting la ngok! Walaupon memang nyanyian dia mengundang kena sambar petir... there was
none of it even though he deserved it;.

Matilah... kena sambar petir agik ke?


"Saya orang kampung"

Matilah ko alasan terhebat tak tahu beza lightning dan lighting. Education ministry, please take note.

Yang penting abang Ramli nampaknya lash out kat pengkritik.

"Dia boleh berkata it's dibenarkan, memang kerja dia camtuh. Tapi dia menakutkan kamu. Sampai kamu nya confidence level semua drop. Kamu ni baru.
25 tahun lepas, mereka pun macam kamu jugak. Yah. Saya boleh bet. Sampai sekarang pun bila saya conduct sekarang ada yang buat silap. Saya tahu. Tapi diaorang tak boleh herdik you all macam tu. Persembahan terus drop 40%."

And everything else was edited. Rasanya bung Ramli laser pengkritik apa lagk ek?
Merasalah 25 tahun lalu. Hanya kak Ogy jer masuk kategori tuh. Heh... yerla... 25 tahun lalu Ajai dan Ning baru melangkah masuk sekolah rendah.

More evaluation time. Pasal Menuju Puncak.

Matilah semua bebudak gelak diri sendiri. Aiyo! And we supposed to take them seriously?
Song assignments. Mai comment.

Amik ko reaksi Lufya. "Mampussss...!!" bila dengar Cinta 100%.
"Aiyo cikgu janganlah cikgu, merepek cikgu."

Cantik Lufya nih... walaupon moka tekejut. Cam Kudsia Kahar ada.. cam Yo So Betty La Fea pun ada.


Reaksi bila dengar lagu? Panggil je nama dia mengucap dak tu sambil mata terbeliak.
"Siapa yang complain dapat lagu yang lebih azab next week."
Tuh dia... sumpahan bung Ramli. Kalau tak puas, kena kang sumpahan montage opening Diari jadik Mr Bola Bola.

Mati lah Ika cakap, "Ika, lagu lagu camni..." sambil geleng pala. Woi minah! Ko lagu apa yang ko suka atau leh bawa. Happy Birthday pun tak janji lepas tanpa off key ke laut tau...

Practise session..

My God! Amik ko Nubhan nyanyi naik semua urat!! Takot ok!

Mak aih!!!! Urat tu!!! Jaga... kang meletop kang urat tuh sapa yang susah???!


Gelak tengok Alif je...

Naim sibuk lak ajar Lufya. Tau la dia ratu dangdut but perlu ke assignment sendiri.
Ending tunjuk Nadia first time nyanyi sikit Umbrella. Ika konon wish good luck. Erm.. Nadia did it better on the first try than Ika did by the end of the week sebelom tukau lagu. Heh.
Nak review assignment meka.

Alif
- Angan Dan Sedar ( Mawi )
Showstopper kalao dia mampu pull it off. It addresses his weakness in being kind of robotic in his delivery. Also, he's going to have trouble pulling off the high notes tapi kalao dia berjaya, memang bakal meletup.

Faisal - Ranggi Metropolis ( Awie)
Totally different swing. Rock, rock gak. It'll be difficult tuk dia nak focus on the difference of actually being able to carry out the tune, in tune. Also with a little bit of attitude to go with the tune.
But another noteworthy song kalao nak ikutkan.
If he makes the most of this, like Alif dia leh dapat some attention for the right reasons.

Naim - Aspalela ( Apek)
Fun song - walaupun zero in substance. Just like Naim. Reaksi semua orang I've talked to setakat nih yang dengar dia dapat lagu nih? Sesuwaiiiii!!!
Ngan watak dia feeling badut, this is actually hardly challenging for him.
Actually trying to sing even however, will be a challenge.
Merasalah akan diundi minah-minah gersang dan adik adik expired.

Nubhan
- Tak Bisa Memilihmu (6ixth Sense)
Strong song, but not very challenging because it's still up his street, Masa time nak bagi lagu pun obvious Nubhan sudahpun tau lagu nih.
I think dia yang paling comfortable ngan lagu tugasan minggu nih.
Kalao takleh perform gak harapkan tone sora sedap je, sesuai dilonggok ngan kelompok Mas, tapi versi not as bad la (which still means not that good either)

Riz - Separuh Masa (The Lima)
Again, no challenge here.
Gila ke bagi lagu ala disco nih yang top hits La Queen kat Drama Queen nih. Takper la. Experience sebagai podium dancer La Queen will pay off here. Matilah aku!
Rasanya sentap tak, carut dalam hati dak ni kena nyanyi lagu bebudak yang kalahkan dia masa Gangstarz.
Matilaaaaaaa...

Stanly - Yang Sudah Itu Sudah (Imran Ajmain)
Lagu nih lemau! Don't like it.
But hopefully, if Stanly can get his act together, he can make this song actually memorable. Mintak mintak tak nervous overdose agik dah lah.

Toi
- Sang Pencinta (M.Nasir)
Nak M. Nasir la jadik pengkritik jemputan minggu nih. Tengok abang Nasir nak cakap apa kalao ada badut wat lagu dia.

Ika - Malu Tapi Mahu (Dina)
Hah! Joke of the week!
Dahla semua lagu takleh bawak. Kena lak Malu Tapi Mahu. This should be the highlight of the week. It'll be like watching a train wreck in front of your eyes. A morbid fascination gituh.
Yerla.. ala ala the ineterest of slowing down keta masa nampak accident.

Lufya - Cintaku 100% ( Mas idayu)
Ok, I have to give this girl some credit. Memang nyampah sora dia. But the last two Diari episodes, aku start nampak some character colour in her.
Kalao Ika harapkan rupa je cantik, tapi prangai buruk to match the suara - Lufya nih sora bosan lom sampai tahap azab, but has the character to match her looks.
Fun and bubbly.
Kalau dia latih hard enough, this song could save her from being the next to go home.

Nadia - Umbrella (Rihanna)
I don't know. Maybe it's too early in the week. But I have a feeling this is another performance of the week dari Nadia.
Walaupun baru nak hapal lagu, dia da leh bak lebih elok dari Ika ting tong tuh.

Rina - Ku Seru (Misha Omar)
Merasalah! Zaman batu nya lagu dijadikan tugasan. Evergreen ke?
She can do this, tapi yang risaunya jer bab choreography, pergerakan diri. She would be more prone to nak lebihkan drama RTM punya with this song.
Hopefully she doesn't.

Saida - Dokter Cinta (Dewi Dewi)
Now, this is one of th hardest challenge of the week.
While the song is nothing great in the challenge department tuk vocals, tapi this song has an attitude, lacking which memang tak kena la rupa kang.
Plus, I bet they have a little choreography worked out, so Saida kena gandakan usaha dia berkali kali ler.
Hope she does well and proves dia up to the challenge.

Stacy
- Rela (Tila)
A minor challenge for Stacy. Lagu nih aku rasa pun memberikan peluang pada Stacy to kick ass.
It's a mediocre sing a long, tapi kalao dia nail this, she can score big time. Lagu nih biasa biasa je, tapi nih jenis lagu yang ko leh wat banyak.
Kalao Stacy creative, persembahan dia bakal antara yang menarik gak.

The songs chosen for next week are up in the second imeem player below the first one yang playing the performances sebelah. Just pause the first one, and press play on the second ok kalao nak dengar lagu lagu tugasan.
Korang layan la dulu ok. Nak tidur.


PS - Getting the sugar glider tomorrow! Yeay!

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