Sunday, March 30, 2008

Bingit!

Where do I start. Erm... ok pasal konsert semalam. Before aku nak ulas ke apa, nak lepas geram pasal kebodohan sesetengah pihak yang memang bahlol, bangang dan very the b*b*!

Apa yang aku geram? Erm... cita nya camni. Remember I shared some videos here from youtube last week pasal persembahan konsert minggu lepas? Yang sedutan persembahan lah.
Well, alkisahnya, ada BANGANG punya konon senior bodoh dan feeling berangan dalam tenaga produksi Astro yang ingat aku dok dalam dewan tuh rakamkan segalanya, which is pretty silly because that is so openly flagrant of copyright issues.

All I can say to that motherf*cker known dalam keluarga Astro as Raja Lawak, or Raja Enter Frame, or even pelopor Diari RF (bukan Diari AF yer - tuh sebelom dia stamp his mark on it) kerana perangai very the gila glamer nak enter frame manjang, is don't test my patience with your stupidity.

Thanks to those who actually have a brain who have told me everything this p*k*m*k haram jadah nih is up to.

Kalao da buta Internet, here are some facts I would like to point out.

1) My digital camera has a storage capacity of 1GB. Which amounts to what? Not more than 10 minutes of video capture ability. A little bit far fetched nak ingat I can take the whole show.
2) The audio and video quality is pretty obviously not my standards of a digicam.
3) Sejak bila orang amik video nak sebo nak tempek graphics butang R pelbagai bodowh!
4) Kalau aku ngan digicam leh wat camera angle sehebat tuh, satu produksi leh berhenti keja la s*nd*l, ko memang tak dapat cari makan da wahai mangkuk hayun.
5) Ko pernah dengar pasal torrent tak?
6) Ever heard of Youtube?
7) If I was responsible for capturing the event even, how the f*ck am I doing it if I'm there every week?
8)You have something permanently lodged in your ass, so before I add my foot into it, don't, and I repeat, don't f*ck with me. I am still a member of the media, online or traditional, and there is nothing wrong with what I have done by taking pictures (not videos of the weekly concert), so don't show how unprofessional you are known to be within the Astro workforce itself, by trying to get personal with me.

Tuh dia... akibat bangang yang tak paham konsep Internet. Biasalah... orang camni, yang tak paham kegunaan Internet and fungsi pelbagai memang la cannot expect anything more.
So, I guess I'll pretend it's Be Kind To Dumb F*cking Retarded Animals Week, and maapkan ko. Tapi jangan ingat sebab aku tak maki ko lagi face to face, aku tatau apa ko wat all this while. So watch your step... tuh jerk.

Ni sama tahap mentaliti ngan politican yang katakan bloggers ibarat monyet. Amik ko pas pilihanraya terus insaf... siap leh Tempe Online. Matilah nak carut orang lain, lain lak yang kena tempias.

Anyway, moving on to happier thought of less spaz idiots, had fun the last concert, but not for the show yang hampeh. It was more of about being with friends.

Started, me with Nafi, went to pick up Samuel. Sebab miscommunication, and Sammy kena rush kerana baru abih wrap shooting, we arrived in PJ pun dah 9pm.

Dropped my car kat valet PJ Hilton, and kami semua naik skali ngan Faz.

Dalam lambat, tengok prangai dua orang ni selamba je maintain cantik catwalk.

Strut that stuff!


Matilah korang!!! I guess beautiful people are never flustered and catwalk naturally no matter what. Even if it means being late 15 minutes for a show! Merasalah!

Settled in for the show with SMSes coming in about the f*cking joker and what he was saying about me. Ignored the negativity of the stupid creature. Thanks to friends especially those from Astro who were as p*ssed as me. But I don't let idiots get to me, so cosied up for the show.
How did it go? I think minggu nih sesuai tuk aku perkenalkan rating system baru aku.

Let's start...

What the hell is with the intro. Cheesy nak mampos. Reminds me how the Candyman or the Boogeyman would appear in the horror flicks. No extra points sebab feel nak vogue. At least we don't get to see the garish colour of the ugly suits he wears.

Ko hengat ko Beyonce???


So much for wishful thinking. Purple lak minggu nih. Damn! What's with the dangdut intro. Takde kena mengena ngan anything, except for being a shameless promotion for AC yang gatal bijik nak feeling nak nyanyi. Yerlah... dia kan multi talented... mampu nak wat segalanya - except appear human. And have good taste in non blinding coloured suits.

The whole opening was a shocker. It was then kita dapat tengok ketiak Lufya yang wet patch da mula berkembang kat baju Hazwani Osman (kesian baju Wanie pasni kena rendam kaw kaw), baju-baju yang di pakai yang majoriti begitu salah, seolah di pilih orang buta dalam gelap gituh.
Argh!!! The fashion horrors are back.

Someone's leaking!


Any hope of the show being potentially better than the previous weeks dissipated. Everything looked as bleak as AC potentially having a decent haircut.

Bingit telinga bila dia menjerit seperti biasa.

The peratusan before put my favourite five dalam kelompok top five, so smangat ar sikit.
"Pastikan handphone anda ada prepaid!"

Yeah! AC wat lawak. Cue time nak gelak. Kalao keadaan biasa memang perlu nak bagitau bila nak ketawa kalao dia bukak mulot, because takde per pon yang lawak

"Cantik baju Ning, glitter... macam traffic light."
#$%^&!!!!

"Ada tak pelajar yang ko tengok mungkin nak bagi lagu selepas ni? Kalau takde, saya free!"
Puke lagik sebab da nih memang perangai meluat tol la.

Some people yang tak paham kalau nak jadi the host for the show, bukan tuk nak waste time promoting yourself but to actually server as a mediator for the night. Ni cam Akademi AC Di Sini lak.

'His style' has no style and aku seriously da semakin menyampah ngan kehadiran dia. Whiny little b*tch!

Sore dia merengek and senyuman dia contoh how fake and plastic smiles are done.
After the first performance by Lufya, Adlin stole the limelight masa dia diperkenalkan.

Si AC menjerit jerit tuh, baik Adlin je jadik pengacara lagik baik. We wasted a good five minutes for that, having to put up with more screeching and whiny sounds emanated by AC.

More salah bits from him - mana taknya - dalam minggu pertama, lagu Alicia Keys No One, jadik Don't Want, minggu nih lagu M. Nasir Sang Pencinta jadi Sang Pencipta. Cocky, arrogant little prick doesn't know anything about music and takde effort nak make reference to his notes kalao da tatau nak get it right. Tuh namanya bodoh sombong.

Nak tanya Rina pasal apa ilham Ku Seru dia leh tanya, "pernah jadi hantu ke?"
Dia nih memang lawak budak darjah tiga tol.

And what's with the pelat masa cakap ngan Alif? F*cking racist is what it is by pulling a stereotype to try and get laughs. Bodoh gaban.

Other references of his immense stupidity.

"Tepukan gemuruh untuk Ika yang jangka hayatnya cuma dia minggu dalam Akademi Fantasia'.
"Ikuti Kring Kring besama Haji Aznil Haji Nawawi".

Menggelupur la mamat nih! Leh tak siapkan beg tuk dia. Tapi tanak Samsonite. Tuk dia beg plastik sampah itam da, sesuai ngan kualiti pengacaraan dia. Yucks!

Argh... ilang mood terus. On with the reviews. Nak make it short and simple kali nih.
For that - minggu nih AC dapat rating for his performance. Kalau minggu lepas layak dapat lima pam jamban, minggu nih aku bagi dia rating lima mangkuk (sebab memang mangkuk hayun) dan topeng keselamatan (tapi nih tuk semua orang yang terpaksa layan dia sebab performance dia nih busuk tahap toksik da)


LUFYA
Cinta 100%
Disappearing in and out, her vocals were nothing to shout about. I love her character and the colour she beings to the Akademi, but honestly, she doesn't bring anything at all to the song. Maybe it's not her specialty nak persembahkan lagu dangdut.

Missed stuff here and there, dan tak consistent langsung throughout her performance. She tried, but it wasn't enough at all.

So so effort.

Tapi dia dapat sorakan gemuruh, sebab orang semua perasan ketiak dia kena close up.
Merasalah carutan sebenarnya salah diertikan sebagai sokongan. Matilah the wet patch getting bigger and bigger by the minute. Seb baik dia perform first.. bayangkan kalao last basah kuyup da.Nak salahkan ketiak ke nak salahkan orang pilih baju tak kena ngan fungsi perspirasi badan gituh...

Points for semangat and effort - minus for the wet patch and the need for deodorant and actual singing.
(dapat bonus set roll on deodorant)

Words fail me...


Toi
Sang Pencinta
Waste of my time. I don't see anything in him, and as far as competition goes. he doesn't rank at all in my list. Biasa jerk... he makes every show a joke. Though I this week, it's largely due to the ugly green jubah thing yang dia pakai tuh.

Nampak cam baju yang dijahit ekspres nak bagik bentuk baju, dijahit pas lima minit punya usaha, with the kain dari discount section kat Kamdar.

Jasmi Rejab nih penah keja wardrobe tuk filem horror ke apa?

Back to Toi - lower than mediocre effort. Thank God Adlin leh have the sense nak carot his lack of ability nak synchronise his movements. He just looks plain clumsy on stage.
=""> (dapat bonus Febreeze sebotol nak ilangkan busuk sikit)

Stanly
Sudah Tu Sudah
Semangat go-go boy Patpong meresap dalam jiwa Stanly nak physical performance yang smangat. body language - for style aku bagi memang effort yang leh puji la.

Tapi actual singing, macam tahap bunyi jamban dipam. Dia nih ada sora yang ada potential but I don't see him actually making an effort. Elok for all the potential he has, nyanyi berterabur. Painful gila nak dengar dia.

Worse than an amateur.

Aku tak setuju bab nih dlin nak tekan art direction katanya. Sebenarnya nak carut wardrobe, tapi jangan la time tak kena. Bab Stanly nih biasa jer, tapi cam baju Toi tuh tegur memang sesuai la.


RINA
Ku Seru
I don't know... aku tak enjoy lagu nih langsung. Aku rasa Rina is still one of the most steady growing ones in terms of performance sebab every week nampak dia banyak pick up from apa tenaga pengajar ajar. But.. entah lah apa silap dia kali ni.

To start visual yang courtesy of Jasmi Rejab tuh da satu hal ngan baju pilihan cam outfit reject dari kedai pengantin dari Semenyih or something. Makes Rina look 60! And what's with the sanggul or entensions thing behind...

So wrong!

Agree with Adlin that she appeared lethargic and lacklustre, nampak tak semangat.


ALIF
Angan Dan Sedar
His voice is so teeny for the big song. Masa dia nari tuh, nampak kanak kana riang ria gituh, tapi spasmic sangat. Dia tak nampa focused pada either his singing or his choreography. Nampak sibuk cuba ingat everything.

And the problem note? Still a problem. Both times.

Entah la... menerusan trend serba tak kena minggu nih. Dia nampak disoriented dan tak tau nak alihkan perhatian ke mana ngan tahap kesemputan gaban.


IKA
Malu Tapi Mahu
Persembahan dia ingatkan aku pada a performance aku penah saksikan kat elab dangdut. Nyanyi hampeh tapi semangat feeling seksi hebat.

Kalao nak judge by looks and gaya je memang leh lepas. Tapi on volume je pengsan terus.
Tone deaf is the term for her for sure. Tak penah dalam sejarah Akademi Fantasia ada yang se azab ini. Maybe dia leh fight ngan Atie musim pertama. Tapi aku rasa Mas musim kedua ppn tak seteruk nih.

Rather than attempt to point out what she did wrong, I think lebih senang nak point apa yang she actually did right... which was nothing.

Matilah moka sentap kena kritik. I just wonder kalao dia mampu nak dengar nyanyian dia sendiri.

Adlin kata hancur, dan aku rasa sokongan orang ngan applause cukup menggambarkan berapa pasang telinga berdarah dalam dewan tuh.
(lima pam jamban tak cukup teruk rating aku, so aku perkenalkan lima set alat perlindungan telinga - sebab dengar dia leh merosakkan deria pendengaran tau!)

Naim
Aspalela
The whole Duyung thing was.. erm... long and overdrawn. It got a few laughs, but it took too damn long for them to get to the punchline. By the time they did, you had already stopped laughing.

Persembahan longkan di mana original singer yang tak sehebat mana pun lebih hebat. With the colour blind combination of his wardrobe, and his contrived attempts to be comedic - he should be held for committing an offence against the performing arts.

Good one for carut the outfit - and what's with Jasmi nak pakai sunglasses? Dewan nih terang sangat ke?

Erm... bak Yasmin Hani nak recreate the Aspalela character? Wrong and cheap to nak wat ala manja.


Fashionable? HELP!


FAISAL
Ranggi Metropolis
Aku rasa buasir terus nak layan nyanyian dia minggu nih. Memang layak ena carut, ngan rupa terkangkang dia, And what's with kalau lagu rock kena terhun stage? Overthought performance with any little actual sylised execution in all aspects. Disjointed dan seolah dia nyanyi lagu lain yang band mainkan.

Pathetic... this is starting to be one of the most boring and painful concerts of the whole series.


SAIDA
Dokter Cinta
Wow.. she can dance! Walaupun masih nampak dia teragak, and thinking about her whole performance, she looks much more prepared than last week's performance. Who would have thought dia mampu mempersembahkan lagu rancak camnih.

First verse cam goyang sikit, tapi masuk chorus jerk, she managed to score. She looked more relaxed and actually came across with right attitude for it.

The most improved for the week, kalao dia mampu nak continue this effort, she's definitely ne to look out for.


STACY
Rela
Not yet the best from Stacy, but I have to say that she was easily the best performance of the week. Nampak dia maintain her effort, but I agree with Aidit she is still looking for the extra allure to her performance.

The Rela joke was worth a laugh. But I think it took away the limelight from her show. One of the main contenders for sure.


RIZ
Separuh Masa
It's pathetic meka nak main kenenkan dia ngan Yana agi. Si AC nih tak wat homework ke nak find out what clicks with the audience and what doesn't like most of his jokes.

As expected Riz has problems ngan stamina dia. Focus nak feeling funky katanya, concentrating too much on his moves and too little on his vocals which was pitchy as all hell, which by the chorus da ilang da cam Jasmi Rejab nya sense of fashion... if there ever was one.

Who the hell puts someone that big in striped like that? Dah ler ketat gila! And a vest??? Please lah!!!

Last last nampak perot dak tuh je yang joget. Dahlah rambut cam wig nilon murahan pakai buang. Argh!

Painful to watch and listen to.


Nubhan
Tak Bisa Memilihmu
I think the whole attempt nak carik a romantic angle to the show was a little sad. It's this kind of phenomena, yang bebudak baru dok Akademi dua minggu je nak focus more on their hormones.
Anyway, on his performance, aku stuju ngan ramai mengenai tone dia yang sedap. Tapi aku rasa aku tak rate dia highly for now sebab lagu lagu dia dapat within the safe range still.

Thankfully minggu nih ada la emosi sikit. Still needs a little more control to his voice. What's with the ending cam cut short lak? Music minggu nih cam hampeh sikit.


NADIA
Umbella
Her problem with this song was banyak pasal sebutan dia. And terbukti that was a problem for her as Ning pointed out.

Matilah ko "underrrrr myyyyy y y y yummmmbrelaaaaahhhhhh".

Cam baju dia yang nampak dia ketot and kembang, I think Nadia's performance was not as good as it was supposed to be.

Loved the attitude and commitment to her showmanship and performance, but not the vocals. I think if she doesn't buck up, she may hav trouble nak live up to her first week's performance yang memang power.



13 Pelajar Akademi Fantasia 6
Menuju Puncak
Ini lah saat paling memalukan dalam sejarah Akademi Fantasia.
Tak pernah ada persembahan miming, tapi ni leh miming pada CD ngan suara Juwita Suwito. It was so wrong and I think that it sends out a wrong message kononnya miming nih accepted.

It was f*cking stupid move on the part of whoever suggested and okayed rhe decision to allow bebudak nih memalaskan diri. Dah lah miming pun masih ada yang tak betul. Tarian takyah cakap. Kalao dalam first verse masuk chorus tuh punchy and energetic, everything berterabur after that.

Semua menari pada lagu yang lain.
And then there was the accident. Dari Stanly tergelincir, tersungkur, si Riz nak reverse, trip over Stanly cam speed bump and ended up smack flat on the dance floor, ni menunjukkan actually everything that is wrong with Akademi Fantasia 6,

No effort, semua feeling diva walaupun feeling kuat (minggu lepas aku da carot pasal semua cam malas nyanyi lagu tema) and just so below par tapi berangan lebih.

Sedih tol time lagu yang berhantu nih lak, orang gelakkan persembahan yang f*cking retarded.
Ni lah sejarah hitam dalam Akademi Fantasia. Siapa yang patut disalahkan? Pelajar yang lemau? Atau tenaga pengajar yang tak mampu bambu budak budak nih nak bebetul belajar? Atau tenaga produksi yang feeling lebih tapi wat keputusan yang cuma untuk eksploitasikan bebudak nih tuk ratings dan untung SMS.

Entahlah... all I know is, I am ashamed as a fan of Akademi Fantasia at this moment.
(bukan je lima pam jamban aku bagik rating, skaligus jamban dan toilet paper aku bagik - nak bagi paip getah ngan bekalan air pada yang cebok pon leh! Aku cebok ek!)

How to be a disaster on stage.
Step 1 - Stanly (second from right tergelincir)


Step 2 - Stanly tergolek cam nangka busuk


Step 3 - Riz nak reverse, trips over Stanly


Step 4 - Riz goes flying! Thus gempa bumi 9.2 on the RECTUM scale. I guess it's true what they say... the bigger they are the harder they fall.


The whole elimination process was a continuation of that shameful approach they have decided to take this season. Akademi Fantasia which is known for its fresh approach, semakin basi nampaknya ngan idea yang half-baked.

Last week tarik kuar tiga beg konon nak gimik, padahal sorang kuar when they announced bottom three. So Idol.

This week lak meka mintak pengkritik pilih bottom three gak. Again... so Idol.

"Kita akan lakukan sesuatu yang diluar jangkaan" kata AC. What the....???!!!

I think the critics made it known da sapa yang lemau, so kenapa nak dramatise that. Oh, I forgot, underrun. So kena panjangkan lagik programming time.

Ning pilih Ika for being the weakest. Agreeable. Aidit pilih Naim. Agreeable too sebab dak tuh pun azab. Adlin pilih Ika, Tapi AC kata takleh pilih yang sama, so si AC main bantai pilih Alif. What the....????!!!

You got to be joking right?

If that wasn't bad enough, AC ata buat pertama kali pelajar akan umumkan siapa yang keluar.

Erm... done before la STUPID! Ni akibatnya kalao tak wat homework.

AC is becoming such a joke that Akademi Fantasia has become a bad parody of itself.
At least Ika keluar, so I guess that consolation was the only thing worth watching that night. Panjangnya goodbye tuh sesuai la membuang masa. Nak bersalaman dan goodbye berapa ribu kali.

Matilah kita semua menangis kegembiraan! Merasalah ko menangis bila kuar tuh, balasan kita nangis sebelom ni dengar nyanyian ko.



Shoo!

Abih jer the show, joined everone kat PJ Hilton for supper.

Faz, Nafi and I, along with Sammy, member dia Rizki, Nik and kak Fati had a smack up feast sebab kebulur semua. Merasalah kak Fati akan carut aku kerana post pic nih.



Amik ko! Kalau nak melantak kena camni baru sihat! Kak Fati and her salad thingie yang gedabak punya besar punya portion for one (walaupon konon paksa kita share - ampun mama!!!)

Ok... off first. Besok kena naik Genting for Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian 2007. Enjoy the show, guys!

Keluarga Saida


Pic atas ni tuk peminat Saida. Jangan lupa truskan AFUNDI Saida tau. Oh by the way, on a parting note, korang perasan tak lagu Mayfirst extended version. Nak ena hapal la. Nyanyi skali carot... matilah aku!!!

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