Monday, April 02, 2007

Of pills and eyedrops

Now I know that this is a little late, but better late than never kan. Akibat slight fever, selsema dan bengkak mata (thus the Gucci, sampai tengok konsert Akademi Fantasia kat dewan pun ber Gucci...bukan kerana berangan stylo walaupon hakikatnya stylo pun...), this review lambat ler sikit. Sekali kira ngan laporan Diarrhea tadik.

We start off with review aku tuk konsert Akademi Fantasia yang ketiga yang dah ler bosan dan busuk cam minggu pertama (and we were holding on to the hope that the second week showed promise of better things to come).

Not only was the concert frustratingly bad, there was no justification for not eliminating anyone. Nama 'surprise' konon...burok bebenor perform pun tak eliminate. Baik empat lima orang sekali kena halau balik.

Konon antara sebab meka wat trigger camni, meka nak bagik peluang pada bebudak perbaiki diri.

Hello??? It's the third f***** week!!!!

And selama ni, dalam musim musim lepas, kalau ada non elimination, it was never half way. Abih...camna lak Diya dan Afiq? Didn't they deserve a chance to improve themselves too?

Weird!

Back to the concert...Oh my God!!!!,....and I mean it. Today I heard the voice of God!!!!

Oh ok...it's just Aznil with a lot of reverb and echo. How CHEESY and totally TACKY!

Dah....aku malas nak cakap apa apa, but I think again the screwed up on the intro.

AGAIN!

It could have been executed so much more better but nope...again...it was kind of weird like watching some sort of student experimental theatre. Malas nak panjang mengulas...kang orang niat nak carut jer...sendiri nilaikan hwo busuk it was. I would have given a rating of four toilet plungers for it. One can only imagine the horror of Datuk A. Samad Said at how these kids made his art sound like a bad Cerekarama script.

So let's get strated on the kids.

Heliza - Melodi Ahlan (Waheeda)
I was really disappinted with her, because I think she didn't do half as good as she should, as Ogy said. It was a mediocre performance that appeared to be more a warm up practise session that was boring. Disappointing at best though I really want to throw in more nasty cmments for the way she stumbled through it. Credit to her ler though for for fumbling up her lyrics like some of the others though as admittedly it was quite difficult.

If Heliza underperforming wasn't enough to spoil my mood, aku tambah geram komen Jee which was not too bad but it was so contrived She doesn't fit into the role and it was just a tad silly for her to comment panjang panjang and then lapse into her real mode of ending with, " but you look nice today."

Arghhh!!!

Farha - Insan (Yantzen)
Now this was a bad attempt at overdramatisation of the show. As ada member komen..., nyanyi insan ke insane... cause he looked like a raving lunatic yang a little nuts ngan dia punya action tangan and overdose acting.

Boring...and just utter sillyness....

Noni - Ode To My Family (Cranberries)
Ok this was just weird cause it continued the trend of overacting onstage.

Memang aku pun rasa nak go... "your mother, your father!!!"... swearing profusely at just about anyone responsible for bringing her into this world.

Boring, over the top, zero effort and presented in a package of the cheesiest stage performance ever!

She was slurring, had bad pronounciation, mumbling her lyrics...blah blah blah...list them all out and take our pick of what sucked about her.

Does anyone care?

Hell no!!!

Aswad - Hijau Bumi Tuhan (XPDC)
He could have impressed but for some blody reason sebab ni makanan dia. Rck kapak style,

Tapi he was flat in places, off and occasionally sengau nak mampos.

Let's not forget the jerky wind up monkey movements. Boring...sampai tahap Jee pun takleh puji ari ni dia comel ke haper...(which is a little hard fr her to hold back, ok!)

The only thing worth watching was sampai Ogy naik hantu pasal show Asswipe. I like!!! Go Ogy!!!

Fatin - Erti Hidup (Dayang Nurfaizah)
Unimaginative and boring, I think her song was very paced but she didn't do anything for it.

Biasa biasa je, tapi in a concert where everyone totally sucked, she seemed ok. For me though, aku rasa sesi karaoke biasa je.

It was definitely average and noting to shout about.

Tapi at least hilang elemen dangdut dia. Kira ada harapan lagik Fatin ni nak improve.

Mila - Melukut Di Tepi Gantang
She almost made it up for the two horrible weeks, and proved she had a decent voice. Derailed sana sini but one of the btter shows fo the night. Don't understand the damn wheelchair though

I actually pity her because I know she can do better but somehow I dn't think she can catch up in time to improve herself. As it is, nak lawan ngan anak anak Datuk ni not an easy task with Heliza being the only girl so far yang can keep up the race.

She's got the potential I think, but I also think she needs more time to improve, which sadly seems like it's ending by next week.

Dafi - Aku Tanpa Cintamu (Mirwana)
CHECKINGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! Lari nyeh!!!!
I thought the backing stage performances were getting worse and worse but nothing prepared me for this lousy sketch.

Matilah feeling pengajaran but kelakar lak. bodoh tol.

As for Dafi....honestly tul...no stinking dynamics, and lagu tuh cam lullaby padahal tie Mirwana dan Jay Jay power ok.

Kali ni ada peluang nak all out leh tapi still wat boyband approach dia. Merasalah jadik boyband karaoke expert.

To be fair though, he wasn't the worst for the night...though he did suck something bad.

Dekna - Kembara Di Tanah Gersang (Al Jawaher)
For the first 45 seconds aku ingat dia da ok sikit...tapi after that, I went back to sleep, to cry in my sleep actually while my ears bled. Aduh...sayangnya dia ni....kenapa lak dak ni.

Apart from the bad stage dramas, there was something uniform in budak budak ni minggu ni.

Takde feel langsung!

Merasalah aksi Samihah Aisah Omar suddenly nak kicking lak.

Rizal - Permaidani (Aris Ariwatan)
Ok...he is seriously tone deaf! Enough said....someone please check his hearing cause I think there's something seriously wrong with his ability to head cause honestly no one could have normal hearing without realising that was nasty!

He was the worst ..AGAIN! For the third week in a row.

And tetap ngan aksi Karam Singh Walia walaopon awal2 konsert da reminder.

Pada peminat Rizal, please stop voting for him and get your ears checked if you say he can sing.

Shawal - Ku Berlari (Firdaus)
Disappinted sebab he tried but it didn't work...nak blame sapa? The music? Good choice! I don't know what happened but looks like these kids ni memang suck nak mampos with each week.

He died onstage! He better buck up next week.

And please, let's not bring clowns to upstage others ok... I can't take all the gegaring of the lemak which irritates the crap out of me.

Candy - Terlalu Istimewa (Adibah Noor)
She pulled some high notes but I think the she was just lucky with the song.

Weird that Jee kata dia ada feel sebab aku rasa penghayatan dia hancur even though sora dia ok je with some highs.

Nak kata yang terbaik, seriously she wasn't that good...just ala ala je.Only Ogy was able to point it out and noticed the same thing I did which was this thing she did with her pose ala ala orgasm.

And the music...

Ebi - Al Jannah (Mawi)
I think this was the real performance of the day sebab elok sesangat ler sora dia banding yang lain.

For the last two weeks, he's been so so, but this was an amazing improvement for him to come this far. Bab, though stress points tuh aku no komen ler sebab I think Jee makes sense when she pointed it out. Wow! A first...time to celebrate!

The part when he would fail because of penghayatan aku rasa dia punya problem tuh, sama je ngan bebudak lain...still aku puji dia because of the effort yang aku memang puji. Bukan senang nak wat lagu Mawi and not be compared which I think dia mampu, with his version.

Aku rate this whole concert three toilet plungers! Konsert pertama dapat empat while last concert was a two star effort. So note the effort.

Apapun, before I forget, the critics (even Jee) geta standing ovation for their comments this week yang lebih real kali ni dan on the mark. It's about time we see reality TV be real again!

So to Ogy, Hattan dan Jee, keep up the good work. I like!!!

Anyway, today surfing the Net, ada yang tanya pasal pics Ebi yang appear. Ala...dia tuh bekas model. So biasa je la. At least not self taken dedah sampai bogel sendiri sendiri. Tapi wat camner....kalau it affects his votes, too bad ler sebab he only did ok this week, and has much to prove still.Ada ke masa ke tak tatau ler...

Pics ni di addkan atas permintaan. Kredit foto : CARI Forum
(Sila ambil perhatian - gambar ini telahpun diedarkan di CARI - I'm just republishing it here atas permintaan ramai yang ingin melihat)

Anyways aku tak paham kenapa Diarrhea ari ni meka tunjuk Friday's recordings sebab tak perlu ok nak live in the past gituh.

And the clips weren't all that interesting anyway.

Kesimpulan aku dapat wat dari flashbacks tuh:
- si Asswipe semakin cam ungka,
- Tok Wan tuh membuang masa penonton.
- they couldn't bring someone who wasn't obese to teach the kids first aid
- the kids are just weird and trying too hard in talking with the camera too much in trying to play Farah.
- meka kena endorse Power Root sebab antara sponsor
- dan team production pemalas nak recycle clips sebab siang punya recording tak sempat edit.

Leh?

Matilah carut balik...

Oh and judging by Astro's announcement yang undian minggu lepas takkan dibuang, it's obvious that meka takut jadik issue tipu duit peminat Akademi Fantasia kalau meka reset the votes percentage this week. Bagus...bagus...at least they learned about prevention rather than depend on damage control.

Now if only meka sedar betapa kurang ajarnya nak clash dates with AIM, the new version of Menuju Puncak still sucks....and assignment lagu pun bring nak mampos....dare I mention arrangement minus ones pun masih busuk?

Watching on with the Diarrhea, I think they're going too far with the recycled clips....who wants to bet Tok Wan tuh related to someone in production of Akademi Fantasia...OOPS!

Oh Lord...recycle lagik. Rizalnak play along by the looks of it acting over cam nak gain attention.

The backstage clips were boring at best, and the song selection handing out pun bosan.

La la la....

Fast forward please

More showings of the drop fo English in the country with the horrible realisation that none of them understood the words, attitude, altitude and aptitude.

What happened lah. Dalam pelbagai komen diberi tenaga pengajar, pandai olak si Khairul Najmi nak kata aunty dia disappointed with Dafi ek....you are the aunty la....tolonglah. Ajar English pun tak betul, pastu nak ajar bebudak lak pasal performance. Shut up and sit in your corner je la as you sift through your Satndard Six textbooks trying to find something to teach the kids this week.

Dahler broke his own rule konon pakai English je, kelam kabut dan tunggang langgang lak English campor BM sebab nak laser tunjuk intelligent konon. Boring!!!!
So for anyone interested, here's the senarai lagu for minggu keempat punya konsert.

Senarai lagu tugasan konsert keempat.
Fatin - Joget Gila Bayang (Anita Sarawak)
Noni - Pastikan (Siti Nurhaliza)
Ebi - Kasihnya Laila (Jinbara)
Shawal - Izinkan Ku Pergi (Kaer)
Heliza - Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)
Farha - As Long As You Love Me (Backstreet Boys)
Candy - Setia Ku Korbankan (Fauziah Latiff)
Dekna - Salam Untuk Kekasih (Nadia)
Dafi - Zikir Kasih (Amir Ukays)
Rizal - Di Ambang Sore (Ahmad Jais)
Aswad - Hakikat Sebuah Cinta (Iklim)
Mila - Benci Tapi Rindu (Diana Nasution)

Daripada senarai lagu tugasan, aku rasa Shawal bakal highlight of the show, because Izinkan Aku Pergi is a good song yang leh showcase vocals. I think Heliza pun will perform well fr Torn because it's right up her alley. Hopefully meka comebac dari performance meka yang hambar last concert.

Apart from that, surprisingly enough after last week's performance, I think Mila wil be quite ok t with Benci Tapi Rindu.

Yang bakal hancur? Au risau pasal Farha, Command of English dan sora yang tak kena ngan AS Long As You Love Me, bakal menjadi train wreck (mintak jangan ler), while Rizal dah almost confirm akan mampos ngan lagu dia. Nyampah aku masa Diarrhea dia cakap, "Saya memang tak sukaaaaaa lagu ni!!! Saya memang tak tak sukaaaa irama Malaysia....etc" Kata tak gemar ler....tu pun tak leh ke...aduh..pastu cover lak ngan kata, "tapi saya akan cuba",...cuba apa? Cuba hancurkan lagu tu?

And dare we mention Asswipe? Tetap ngan lagu rock kapak....dah ler aku bosan tengok moka Bangla dia....aku bosan ngan show busuk dia dan topi/headban busok dia. Baik pakai wig jer....kalao beriya nak cover dia tuh semakin membotak. Matila....kalao juara sebelom ni botak, ni dah lr dia nak feeling iras Mawi, nak botak gak? Merasalah Mawi botakkan diri...buan botak natural keguguran ok! Merasalah kalau dia menang apa apa sila mintak Yun Nam haircare sponsor hadiah ok!

Yang aku rasa susah nak ramal Fatin (takut tolang dia snap in half kalao nak over energectic je si anorexia ni), Ebi (susah wooo mau follow up performance dia yang bagus tuk Al Jannah), Candy (tapi sure better than the original version sebab penyanyi asal tak mampu nyanyi agik) and Dafi (sora boyband wat ala ala asli ek...kita tunggu dan lihat).

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