Sunday, March 25, 2007

My ears are still bleeding! But I'm 50kg lighter!


First aku nak start with my little photographic tribute to Shawal dan Heliza. Dua orang yang kian hari kian menjadi favourites aku tuk musim ni.

Kalao korang nak amik pics ni nak edit ker haper ke post memana au izinkan...tapi kalao leh please credit aku with a link here ok.

Ok...so masa masuk dewan semalam, the situation was chaotic in the dewan to say the least.... yerlah...kalao da venue kecik, tetiba tuan rumah lak beriya nak penuhkan ruang kalahkan seperti buat kat Stadiumn Negara wat camna kan?

Berpuluh seat tetiba reserved sampai yang ada ticket mai awal pon kena dok belakang...kesian..deja vu lak aku cam kat Mesra Sokmo Cit Cat...kannn!!!!

Oh well...entahlah.

Nak kata dewan packed pon tak...tamu jer lebih. Nak kata tamu kehormat ke tak...no komen.

Sebenarnya dari luar dewan pon da ada dak kuarga Akademi Fantasia yang dijemput menhadiri pon da mengeluh ngan keadaan. Entah lah tuan rumah ting tong sebab banyak urusan kot sampai tamu dijemput pon wat tak kuasa mau melayan.

Hrmmm...oh whatever.

If we had anything better to do on Saturday night... and we didn't have to work...
Anyway, bab intro, matila memang Astro tak meletop melalui program meletop je pakai pyro nak pekakkan orang pada nyanyian yang bakal sumbang.

And what can I say about the intro.

Apala konsep posa mannequin, konsep menari cam robot ke ala Bring It On??? Bring on those spirit fingers!!!...everything else is aleady tacky as it is. If they thought that was funny, I bet the same people who thought it up pun rasa Raja Lawak leh pecah perut kot.IT WAS NOTHING SHORT OF RETARDED!!!

Mai kita undi sapa rupa pasling spastik....I think Rizal dan another person tuh, paling sesuai untuk jadi calon Raja Lawak ketika intro dan pengenalan tu.

Trust ler Astro nak bagi Aswad last konon nak hype up dia. Ok...I change my mind. He looks most spasticated among them all la.

Mesti prodcution ala ala Zana tertekan kan, dalam nak mencari idea baru sampai terpaksa wat Raja Lawak The Sequel.

Eh...dengar lak meka kan teguran orang nak dedahkan kedudukan akhirnya.

These were the opening rankings, Dafi, Heliza, Aswad, Fatin, Ebi, Rizal, Shawal, Farha, Candy, Afiq , Noni, Dekna and Mila. Merasalah duo anak Datuk conquer!!!!

Argh...bila dia ada dalam dewan agik nyampah lak aku tengok Aswad....

Eh...Candy nyanyi dulu....moka cam Farahdhiya lak. Tapi versi kemetot ler.
Alahai...kalau biasa trigger tuh wat secara mengejut, kali ni lak Ruth Sahanaya, Titi DJj dan Kris Dayanti di bawa awal awal. Yerlah nak promo konsert malam esok kan...aduh.

Nampaknya Akademi Fantasia ni dicommecialkan da jadik iklan lak diselit masuk.

Candy - Semua Jadi Satu (3 Diva)
Nak komen ala Jee leh tak? She looked good! Ada ler part of a star.

She did pretty ok, tapi sebab music banyak improve senang sikit nak dengar kot. But she was slurring from the, and suka lak dia ni meneran jer.

Her high notes were relatively well handles tapi she really has to improve her grasp of the lower range. Pitchy sana sini sikit...but ok.

By the way did anyone notice that disturbing Winamp visualizer kat belakang in the backdrop tak. Aduh...graphics gagal.

Back to the show, I think Candy did ok...though she lost the diva mood and at times looked a bit more glorified lounge singer.

Was it just me or did the music towards the end pitch down? Korang perasan tak? Tetiba je...

Uwaa...Jee da pandai nak amik notes. Motif perlu baca takleh explain direct? Hurmph!

Hattan on the mark, Ogy lak komen pasal sustaining the energy level ketika persembahan.Statement of the night dari kak Ogy : Play with the camera .... aiyo...jangannnnn dikkk...ingat Zana!

Matilah aku mencarut.

Rizal - Kembali Merindu
Ye mula je da leh kata dia ni confirm pemenang Piala Sumbangsih. No vocal projection and horrendous on the low notes.

Takpela...kalau tatau melodi apa lagik, thrust your pelvis lambung telor sat konperm undian masuk. Selamat lagi seminggu bila pengundi yang gersang dan gedik rupa elok menghabiskan duit. Gembira Astro..

Persembahan dia cam trying too hard, and at times kalahkan kebadutan seseorang tu. He seriously is one of the worst.

Takpelah dik...kalau kuar Akademi Fantasia, leh carik keja kat Patpong kat go go bar. Kalau tak pon podium dancer kat Blue Boy ek...matilah Down Under katanya.

Semput, sumbang, bosan, and just too bloody lewd. Yer...this is wholesome family entertainment. Who would have thought lagu Slam leh lambong telor masin sampai camtuh.

Heh...aduh...si Jee lak emo siot!

Yes, another penyanyi fun fair dilahirkan.

Mmm..nampaknya while si Jee working hard nak credibility, si Hattan dan Jee lak melayan siot si Rizal ni. Pening... Ni cam planning je nak elakkan Jee from looking too bimbo through her comments in looking like she is intelligent unlike last week.

Leh bertahan agik dak ni...whatever...esok lusa kuar kan, tak ngaku kang bertanggungjawab tuk hasilkan penyanyi camni.

Ebi - Bailamos (Enrique Iglesias)
Start je lagu, haram sepatah aku paham apa dia nyanyi. Walaopon aku maintain tone Ebi ni sedap sebenarnya, tapi dia kena penyakit si Rizal da....syok sendiri.

And it seems the dancers pon...sampai tahap step pon tak ingat tak mampu.

Erm...ni dak kecik yang ada kat Macam Macam Aznil...gelek besh tapi dia tak wat bootylicious langsung cam dulu.

Nampaknya Jee stress dalam nak buktikan she's worth her salt in the seat....oh well. She really needs to try harder.

Mmm...Hattan kata ok lagik. Hmm...Ogy lak wat statement tergoda?

"I feel your sexiness".

Mmm...CONFIRM ni mesti kena directive dari Astro cam nak reverse minggu lepas bagi ruang kat Jee nak shine konon become the evil one, while the other two jadik bimbo in terms of komentar lak sebab Jee kena hentam sebelum ni.

Heliza - Aku Bukan Untukmu (Rossa)
Lower notes a little shaky and bit off here and there, tapi awmigawd awmigawd awmigawd....ala Zana ni...she can sing.

I know she has pitching and problems and lack of control here and there, but overall, she still performed with much poise and grace with much potential to show for.

You want to talk about potential? Here she is!

Not her best show...for sure. But a promise of much better things to come.

Hmphhh... I think meka lebih jujur dalam kritikan kat dia sebab obvious dia top three sebab fan favourite so selamat ler konon nak kritik lebih lebih.

No matter what the agenda, aku rasa not fair je, sedangkan anak Datuk dua oang yang top three cam bagi can je dalam berkomen.

Who cares what they say? It was an excellent performance and she kicked ass again!

Fatin - Bila Rindu Ku Sebut Namamu (Siti Fairuz)
Setelah sup perut, kami terus ke hidangan sup tulanglak. Matilah bak kut teh!!!! Sop tulang dan daging *toot*.

Syabas kepada Fatin kerana telah berjaya menjadi Haziq, tapi kalao dia dulu memperjuangkan asli, ni lak memang Dangdut Idol lah!

Kenapa bulu dada dia terkeluar? Style apalak tuh??? Tak sesuai ngan tagline dia...
Style baju ko robek kat belakang telah ku pakai skin coloured top supaya tak terdedah tolang tolang aku.

Oh God....nak tidur rasanya....she sucks! If they want to talk of potential, I honestly think meka kena pikir balik potential apa yang meka cari.

Farha - Biarkan Aku Menangis (Tommy J. Pisa)
The real surprise of the night. Walaupon ada yang pekak mengatakan persembahan dia bagus minggu lepas, I thought he was horrible.

But this week he did quite good and redeemed himself. Ada slip ups sana sini, tapi the only one with any real improvement, , maybe because of choice of song.

Walaopon si Mila wat sora Doraemon dalam nak backing, tak cacatkan show dia.

Bosan tol si Jee nih. Can she say anything that's relevant apart from stating the obvious?
Hattan pointed out more about dynamics and Ogy on penghayatan.

Hah...da bagi can send message kat mother, confirm ada makcik makcik AFUNDI....amik ko!
Hope he keeps improving, sebab I see him like Candy slowly developing to try and catch up with Heliza and Shawal.

Mila - Gotta Tell You (Samantha Mumba)
Nobita nyanyi dari start to end sumbang abih. Argh....nasib baik ada penaja tisu Premiere kat dewan ni. Dapat aku lap telinga aku yang berdarah nih....meleleh ok!

Apa punya backing music tuh kosong sangat???

That's the third song in a row horrible punya minus one.

Kalau korang penah dengar original version, you'd know the music tak busuk camni. Huh...da mula da....abih ler minah ni....dah ler lagu ni melody dia susah sikit, ngan muzik camtuh takde guide...good luck je la.

Dahler nyampah muzik, pastu sora Nobita dia....siap penyanyi lelaki sorang tuh yang midget tuh yang ciom pipi KD overdose joget cam show dia lak.

Jee actually point out macam macam...but she should have noticed there was no melody in the first place.

Blah blah blah...whatever....si Ogy nak komen pasai dia dan Afiq lak...dahler dak ni memang last...nampaknya tau je sapa yang sorong beg ler...obvious. Antara dua tuh je...bab kenen kenen ni lately confirmkan orang akan kena halau.

Worst performance of the night for girls, and as bad as Rizal.

Afiq - Biso Benor (Hattan)
Ada ler sorang ni bisikkan...dia ngaku kan dia epileptic...kira ada sawan *toot* ler.

Abih...si poyo ni...sesuai ler ngan dia. Sawan Afiq ler namanya...merasalah sawan poyo.

Ni ker performance yang diakatakan dia nak buat better than the original? Cakap je lebih...hasil? Nan ado katanya!

Start ngan kelas taichi warga emas, in a bad impersonation of Hattan, and then sombang here there, if he wasn't dead flat.

Performance overdose dan berangan sangat feeling superstar katanya....argh!!! Overacting tol!!! Sakit jiwa!!

Aku rasa aku lak nak kena sawan si poyo nih!!!!!

Matilah Jee kata dia nih leh versatile? Merasalah leh jadi bottom!

Boring....someone please put him on the to be eliminated list. Oops....nampaknya wishes do come true.

Merasalah critics pun lak membosankan.

Except Ogy yang kata ada tenaga. Merasalah tenaga kinetik gerak tak abih abih step taichi flapping his arms about.

Noni - Mirai E (Kiroro)
She did ok vocally, but honestly it was nothing great, but a decent copy of the original. Tapi biasalah kalao da memasing miming skali, tau je ada lirik yang modified sana sini.

Tapi yang aku tension ngan dia wat performance ala Hari Penyampaian Hadiah (Sekolah Rendah Kampung Pelir Hitam lagik ke?)

Penghayatan cam lagu gi funfair naik kuda merry go round ler.

She was just bouncing up and down, and she didn't seem have a clue what the song was about. Of course I'm assuming they gave her the translation ler.

Jee kata berjaya cuit ati penonton. Hurm....suka tau speak for other people's behalf. Hattan was more obvious and forthcoming katakan dia ni memang ala tak paham.

Apa la percubaan berani lak si Ogy ni katakan, sedangkan lagu ni memang hit ngan bebudak, most people know this song anyway. And it's a freaking assignmen so apa lak cita nih berani ke tak?

Masa Yamada cakap tuh, aku cuma dengar cam dia cakap 'hanjeng'. Merasalah kalau dia carut on national TV pun orang tatau kan!

Bagus ek katanya...kalau da ajak mai takkan carut ler kan?

Dekna - Cinta (Amy Mastura)
Gedekna datang bali agik ngan...erm...gediknya. Oh God...that short dancer memang sakitkan hati siot!

Another Patpong attempt by her ngan gyration yang tak perlu by her ala Rizal dan Ebi.

But she didn't do half as bad though she sunk on the lower notes. Projection, baby, projection...

And I sure as hell tak nampak tol identiti dia langsung. Setiap lagu dia perform, she's coming across as a weak-ass copy of the original.

She struggled with the dance break and da tak mampu follow in the end, so sesuai ler gelek je keja dia sambil catwalk sana sini je.

Matilah you can be a joker kata si Jee...elok la...Raja Lawak musim kedua ler (ada ke?).
Ini seorang artis kata Ogy (artis majalah ke?)...erm...leh jadik pelakon katanya...(jangan lupa leh endorse Mamee Slurp)

Dafi - Pencinta Wanita (Irwansyah)
Ngan berpakaian cam dak tadika, Dafi diminta play with himself ler katanya kalao ikut Aznil.

Heh...are you getting the horrible images I'm getting in my mind?

Affirming he likes women (yerla...aku memang pencinta wanita katanya), Jambu whispered his way through the song. Ala...Irwansyah wasn't all that great a singer anyway in the first place, so sebenarnya apa yang diuji melalui lagu ni?

Dafi sang through his nose thoughout, which I have to say is a skill. Aiyak...Kefli kembali in Dafi.

"Yang lembut seperti dia?" Ke Diya? Matilah aku kena carut ngan pencinta Jambu.

Yes...yes...just what we need. Another pretty boy who sings through his nose and harapkan yang gersang abihkan duit. Marketable?

Only if you think we need another one of those.

Tengok tuh? Jee pun kata kan...amik ler.

Hattan was more honest about he wasn't tested ngan lagu senang bantu dia dua minggu berturut turut.Ogy was actually getting on my nerves, sebab for the second time, pas Rizal, dia merembes and allow it to influence her comments. Whatever....

Leh la jadik model Mamee Slurp ke...moka Durian Runtuh haper Mania program kaut untung tuh... cause mark my words, we'll see whre he is in a year.

Everytime musim Akademi Fantasia aku mesti kena carut kata aku tak paham bebudak ni talented and marketable. And then, when it proves to be true that they don't go anywhere, and people choose to argue the next season lak, they always look at the past failures like a one off.

The break was another hal. Dijemput ngan tamu lain tuk go have a bite kat backstage. Kesian Farihad kena laser sedas, "For staff only".

Leh?

Aku dengar member kena, aku terus tak kuasa nak join. Masuk balik dewan layan snacks aku lagik elok. Setakat kalao nak makan kuli kuli berangan, baik aku temankan Farihad je dok sembang pasal performance yang da lepas. Merasalah catering staff tu minta maaf ngan aku....aku lak tunjuk kat Farihad sambil walk off tak kuasa.

Oh by the way, at this point, yer Astro da confirm minggu depan konsert ketiga akan jalan, walaupun Maulidur Rasul.

Kononnya konsep persembahan minggu akan datang lak lagu berunsur keTuhanan or devotional or something along those lines.

Whatever....on with the show after the news.

Aswad - Nak Kahwin Duit Tak Ada (Sweet September)
Aku nyampah tol ler....two in one promotion siot. For slot MisteRIA ngan Aswad skali.

Arghhh!!! Please lah. Anyone who thinks he looks or sings or acts like a star,

Aku rasa cam tengok audition kat @15 live lak...please lah.

So F****** amateur!!!

Overdose....rempit yang menyerupai Bangla ni menggila kat atas pentas trying to pull off something he's seen before.

Oh God....you call that singing?

No wonder ler pernah ada band dulu tak penah jalan kena masuk Akademi Fantasia lak.
Out his horrible ass!

Natural entertainer kata Jee. Someone remind her dia ni critic tuk Akademi Fantasia bukan tuk Raja Lawak, which is something she seems to be consistently forgetting.

Hattan kata dia best projection tapi tak sebut dia patut nya nyanyi...bukan menjerit.

Ogy pun same...kata elok. Leh?

Meka nak try and make him Mawi ler konon ler....yerlah...nak ply on people's sympathy, kesian blah blah blah....puji melambung sebab tengok ada AFUNDI masuk. Arghhh!!! Cam kesiallll!!!!

Stop trying to make another Mawi lah!!!

He's vocally bankrupt (is there such a thing?)

He's even more horrible to look at (kesian make-up artiste mesti kena burn span pas make up dia nak elak jangkitan)

He performs like a fun fair freak.

He looks like a bloody clothes hanger (sesuai dia ngan fatin poster models for anorexia)

He's failed before in his singing career ngan kumpulan dia, and we wonder why Akademi Fantasia thinks this has-been has got potential.

BUSUK!!!

I take it back about Rizal and Mila...they were both tied for second worst. Ass-wipe gets a historis three toilet plungers!


Shawal - Kenang Mengusik Jiwa (A. Ramlie)
My belief in his tone justified.

He performed quite well walaupon Astro badutkan dia ngan baju dan jambul overdose extension.

Honestly ler...teringat time Felix kena lak stereotype jadik court jester ngan pakaian dan pilihan lagu. Please lah...hopefully this doesn't happen.

When pretty boys like Dafi orang leh puji...talent cam dia dan Heliza yang ketara bagus langit dan bumi meka tak puji aku tatau ler camna.

Kalau my worst fears confirmed, akibatnya, lahirla ramai lagik artis mee segera.
Jee kata blah blah blah (not worth my time)

"I deserve my comment" kata Hattan. Matilah belajar ngan Najmi ting tong gak English dia. English very the quality Akademi Fantasia.

Ogy obviously was trying (under directive ke) nak puji the faculty and students sampai nak puji sebakul, hmphhh!!!

What lah...so malu lah camni....plugging own product. Keji lah. But their own show meka leh wat kan...since they're shameless in this aspect.

Honestly... the kids improved sebab music improve SLIGHTLY. And that was it. Because they didn't do all that great in all.

And if anything, Dr Love and Mr Lovely takyah bangun sebab I don't see their contribution.
Apapun, Shawal was the best for the night! Undoubtedly!
(patutnya 4 1/2 tapi tolak 1/2 sebab jambul menyakitkan mata!)

Menuju Puncak
Tetap remix busuk yang ala fengtau version of an old Burt Bacharah song. No effort langsung nak improve langsung walaopon ni tetap the worst version ever as agreed by the fans.

God have mercy with the stupid taichi (ala Poyo) and silat intro and outro.
Let's not forget holding the twinkle twinkle little star punya move tuh awal awal in the song.

Sad, pathetic and just stupid.

Let's not mention Ass-wipe was still the most horrible throughout.

Aku takleh terima yang ada mengatakan this version of Menuju Puncak kicks ass when it's so sucky and horrible. It inspired the third rate choreography we see, and honestly I don't blame Linda Jasmine at all because no one could choreograph that tune into something spectacular.Aku perasan ada poll kat website Akademi Fantasia yang poll 'Adakah anda menyukai lagu tema Menuju Puncak versi baru?'

And guess what, yang menjawab Tidak accounted for 52.3% Yang katakan ya cuma 21.56%. That's less than a quarter, ok!

And despite this they still think fans like it? Apa sebenarnya yang susah meka nak ubah kan lagu tu to make it more interesting instead of more shitty.
In fact kalau nak kaji Akademi Fantasia Indosiar, I remember a season where every other week, meka ada tema, so Menuju Puncak meka diubah ikut tema yang ditetapkan, dari segi muzik, dan juga choreography.

Kenapa kita tak mampu ke?

And then we complain about Indonesians being better, bila tahap belajar pun bukan je pelajar malas tapi orang yang patutnya push these kids 2x5.

Oh by the way, aku pun tried nak join the poll... no prizes ler for guessing what my answer to the poll was.

But guess what happened. Dari berkali aku cuba, ini hasilnya. Did someone stop it because the percentage was getting too high?

Or did they run out of resources sebab exhausted their bandwidth or whatever bila orang masuk nak vote for a change. They's better change it this week...or I seriously don't know who's going to bother.

Apapun, without them releasing figures, Astro has to admit, no matter what their rating, jumlah AFUNDI yang masuk ni berkurangan. Why? Because loyal fans semua da tak kuasa.

So wake up and smell the coffee and start changing lah. Nak degil degil pun...korang gak yang rugi.

Back to the show.

Yeay...poyo kuar. Wishes do come true!!!

And by the way nak spekulasi sikit. Kan si Diya takde kat Dewan kan? Tak abih abih bab pergi tak kembali...

Nak tau sebab apa? RASANYA ler...sebab kalau bak bekas pelajar masuk dewan kena la bak Zana.

Amik ko kalau Zana dibawa masuk....bukan show Akademi Fantasia yang jadik focus.
Oh Gawddddd...honestly. Can't imagine having to sit through another eight concerts like this. They better buck up soon.

Oh by the way, before I end this posting, saja nak letak pic ni. I snapped this masa gi supper with a group of friends lepas the concert.

Erm...I don't now what everybody else would make of it...and I do know what it's referring to, but can't help it that other images are just popping into my mind.

This a DiGi ad...and I seriously wonder where they're heading with this campaign.

"Sshh, saya tengah main ni".

Matilah tertekan aku terus gelak nak tergolek tengah jalan time tengok ni.

Sempat tuh nak lari ke tengah jalan nak amik pic ni untuk posting ni.

There were a few other silly taglines, almost as bad as the kids for Akademi Fantasia this time around, but aku rasa this is the stupidest.

Reminds me of their silly DiGi Superstars campaign they recently embarked on. Pure, misdirected attempt at segmentd marketing. No wonder Hotlink's actually doing better than them and whooping their asses in the prepaid market.

Ok guys...gotta buzz off.

Kena finish some stuff and prepare to go out for dinner tonight. It's my mom's birthday and taking the family out to somewhere swanky for dinner. Kalau tak swanky sedap pun leh la. Heh!

Apapun, happy birthday mummy! Love you!

More updates tomorrow, aku actually ada benda nak kongsi tapi aku rasa posting posting aku ni da kerap sangat panjang lebar.

Anyway sorry for those of you yang tunggu update the past couple of days. Been really bogged down with work.

No excuse but really couldn't get th time to post my entries walaupon da siap.

Until tomorrow then...

Bahan bacaan lain :
Mr Manager
Juan Danza
Budiey
Ajami

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