Wednesday, February 21, 2007

La la la la LARD

What you see to the left, is very obvious for what it is.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is, unsurprisingly, a bucket of lard. One that represents something actually more detestable in an unimaginable form of something seemingly human, but is no lesser, a bucket of lard (or in this other case, a lard bucket)

Yes, how much is this lard worth?

Like the meaner form that walks on two legs... not much actually.

But I think the one that's not in this picture is worth approximately RM3,500 now (just a symbolic figure)

Oh well, it's amazing what the scientific manipulation of genetics can achieve when lard can have two legs and supposedly come with an education and personality. Yes, enough education to be in questionable employment status despite its opportunities (what a waste of money) and also, enough personality to manipulate one sob story and wring it for what it's worth to get RM3,500. Acting like a forlorn, stray, bitch, howling away, by the road has its advantages.

Back on track, lard bucket, however does not have enough personality however to admit to either that they were told the same reason. Nor that the date of payback will be anytime within its life expectancy (oh wait a minute, for it, it couple simply mean any minute now probably...silver lining for you eh?)

Stop the presses!

There is one major difference though, at least this bucket of lard is recognised for it has been published. The lard bucket on the other hand, remains anonymous because it's butt ugly features (very apt description) does not allow it to roam in human domain for its extreme inferiority complex (I'd like to say self awareness)

And yet, strangely enough, it reacts strongly to those it does not seem able to manipulate...

Oh well...

I don't need lard in my system anyway. Been meaning to lose weight. At least I'll get things that fit...

PS - Saja je nak entry suka suka tulis pasal lemak. Benci kan lemak lemak ni...they hang around you and don't serve a purpose and yet somehow ooze their way about to be noticed, despite the shudders it invites. Tak salah kan merapu sekali sekala... at least I admit it when I do it...

Now let's all sing 'Loving You' originally sung by the ever angelic sounding Miss Minnie Julia not the verse, "lovin' easy cause you're beautiful" (this doesn't apply here no matter what optical illusions you use)...try the chorus bit..."la la la la lard! la la la la lard! la la la la la, la la la lard!!!!!"

PS Pt I - Life sure sucks eh when you hit rock bottom and you start thinking the only silver lining is at least it's only going up from now. Gravity has it's say, bitch! Bring it on! I know where it hurts...and you don't want me to go there.

PS Pt II - I dedicate this to real friends who don't manipulate people, and to the two losers who will never have treasures like that. No matter what they claim.

PS Pt III - Watch out for my musings on the anorexic hunchback geek who jerks off in front of the webcam soon (description provided by the 'honest' lard bucket). If I think it's worth my time. This one was, in a twisted way, like watching people stepping on bugs (this one's lower in the food chain though - but serves just as much purpose for existing)