Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Kau bukan untuk ku

I feel shitty today. Pardon my French.

Dalam sakit pala... malas... banyak kerja kena dihabiskan untuk edisi hujung minggu. Pasal apa lagi kalau bukan persiapan segala cerita untuk perkahwinan Siti Nurhaliza dan Datuk Khalid Mohamad Jiwa.

Everything began from yesterday. Dalam lega dah abih one round of work, went for supper.

Dalam time tuh, pala mula berpusing angkara seseorang. I hate technology.

Another phase of my life, is now officially over,

Sedih tapi nak wat apa. Nak nitis air mata pun tak guna, kan.

I've become acquainted with loneliness for a long time now. But I've always kept hope that in some form, and that somehow seems to elude me as well.

Apa nak buat...tak dapat tidur semalam, so melayan perasaan saja. Sepanjang aku drive aimlessly, lagu Agnes Monica je menjadi teman aku. If you're feeling the way I'm feeling now... try listening to this song.

Dan Tak Mungkin - AGNES MONICA
Wajahmu, Hatimu, dan tentang dirimu
Selalu kan berada di dalam hatiku

Sejak awal bertemu
Aku tau rasa itu
Namun tak mungkin aku
Untuk memilihmu

Dan Tak mungkin untukku
Tuk menggapai cintamu
Walau rasa di hati
Ingin memilikimu

Cinta harus berkorban
Walau harus menunggu selamanya
Ku tau..
Kau bukan untukku

Sejak awal bertemu
Aku tau rasa itu
Namun tak mungkin aku
Untuk memilihmu

Tuk menggapai cintamu

Walau rasa di hati
Ingin memilikimu

Cinta harus berkorban
Walau harus menunggu selamanya
Ku tau..
Kau bukan untukku

Dalam segala kesedihan, and just wanting to be alone, I got an SMS.
The message daripada seorang kawan berbunyi, "help... the slaughtering of gubra has begun... :-("

The message was from Yasmin, and aku bertambah sedih bila baca SMS dia. I mean, here I am wallowing in my problems... and feeling so sorry for myself, and ada orang lain yang menghadapi masaalah just because their intention was to spread a little love to everyone around them.

I hate this crap.... it's just not fair. The whole thing played about Nani's speech which was totally taken out of context... the criticisms over Gubra. Come on lah.. grow up!

Sampai bila industri filem negara kita ni nak layan filem cintan atau effects murahan lagi?

Apparently a lot of idiots think a long time more because masa Festival Filem Malaysia aku sendiri terdengar ada ler orang industri muka tak malu, berangan mengutuk Gubra kata tak layah tuh... tak layak ni. Bloody effing assholes!

Then make better movies lah kalao rasa standard filem cam Gubra not good enough.

Whatever is said, Yasmin's films are touching works of art that reflects the true Malaysian spirit. The first real Malay movie my 60 something sat through, and my mom applauded in the end complimenting how lovely local movies are and that she didn't realise, was Sepet.

So I think that that's the magic of Yasmin's work... that she can touch people.

I replied, and felt more depressed than ever.

Spent the remainder of the night (hard to say remainder sebab time tu dah subuh pun), trying to sleep but I couldn't.

It's sad... but so often, people forget that's what the movies are about. The magic of them. Not the profits or the so-called blockbuster efforts. Business is business, but you don't knock something just because it gets critical acclaim deservedly and you didn't because you put a piece of crap out and expect it to be praised to Kingdom come.

Geram...

I am just feeling ultra low. Lower than low.

So much hate...

Aku blank out my mind to finish my work... yang sangkur separuh jalan sebab Datuk Shah Rezza ada event, so kena tunggu dia call balik untuk final details for my story.

Tension punya tension, I thought updating my blog would help ease my flood of swirling thoughts that are slowly taking over my mind.

Made an order out for some candy, maybe that'll help ease the pain.

Arghh!!!

Need time off.

Thought back pasal the topic I've been busy with the whole week (have for the past months and probably for the next few), which is Siti's wedding.

Walaupun orang cakap macam-macam pasal pilihan dia in Datuk K, honestly I couldn't give a flying freak about her choice.

It's her life. If he makes her happy, then perlu ke sesiapa nak cakap apa-apa.

It's practically impossible to find love... and for that object of your affections to want to spend their lives waking up the next morning next to you, with morning breath and all, and still be in total awe of you... is something most people can only dream... and hope for.

Like me.

So Siti... congratulations on your wedding soon.

I do wish you all the best... and semoga bahagia ke anak cucu cicit etc.

Whatever people say.... finding someone you want to be with is something amazing... and no one can take that away from you. I say that because I wouldn't even wish loneliness on my worst enemy...

Ini pic dari sesi beramah mesra semalam kat Sri Pentas. Thanks pada Min, Yus, Shafique and gang kat TV3.

I think they do look so in love... and perhaps that's all that's important at the end of the day... not even horse carriages or million Ringgit weddings (kalau sampai angka tu) matter...if the person you're with is not the right one.

Aku masih ada kerja nak sambung and lot of other pictures to share, so tell you guys what... I'll update the rest of the photos later. In fact, banyak sangat nak letak tapi tak sempat.

Of course nak gak letak pics of the invitation kat sini so you guys can see how it looks like. Mind you, aku dapat jemputan sebagai media. Ada lah orang tu mendapat jemputan sebagai VVIP. Manakala mungkin ada yang masih lum terima tapi pasti merayu, kalau tak tengok kat rumah saja.

Kawan-kawan artis pun ramai telah mendapat jemputan mereka sebagai VIP yang berwarna silver.

Kalau nak tengok gambar invitation yang lebih jelas lagi, sila ke sini untuk close up shots lain.

Gambar kedua kad jemputan. The pink one is for the akad nikah dan yang putih ialah untuk majlis reception kat KL Convention Centre.
Seperti di atas yang embossed in silver 'SK' with side writings of Siti and Khalid, kad jemputan untuk reception is embossed on the box, and also on the inner card with 'SK' but this time written Khalid & Siti Nurhaliza. Dalam kedua invitation, ada separate 'kad masuk' untuk memastikan kesahihan invitation. Penerima kena RSVP, dan diberitahu setiap tempat duduk akan ada nama... so takyah ler print invite sendiri ek.

Ok ler... sambung keja sat....really want to get out of this place fast.

Cadang nak drive far, far away tonight. Don't know where yet.

Anyway, apapun, since I'll be in the office until later tonight, sempat ler catch Ejen 016,

Episod malam ni ada cameo dari my fave actress (prefer her over Fasha Sandha anyday), which is Fazura!

Yeah yeah.... !!!

Not sure what her role will be, but worth checking out. Jangan lupa, TV3 at 9.30pm malam ni.

TV seems to be my only life at the moment... so here's celebrating being a couch potato.

Gawd... my life sucks...

I really need to leave this place soon.

Well, at least nak gi jalan-jalan ke Thailand soon. And hopefully Jakarta again by later part of this year.
And maybe I can look forward to that holiday in Cherating for four days three nights.

But somehow I think I'm just going to get more depressed about not able to go to any place with that special someone.

Life sucks...

PS - Check previous postings untuk more pics yang aku da rajinkan diri letak. Have these extra pics yang membuat aku tergelak sorang. Ni baju si Zack beli kat Siam tuk RM10. Amik ko... nak beli t-shirt murah pun, check ler spelling dulu... kan da malu sendiri (gelak tahap gaban punya evil). Bagi mereka yang tak sedar ada kesilapan spelling tu, in the first pic it's supposed to be 'Von Dutch' and the second is supposed to read 'high performance' (merasalah fail spelling)

And on the topic of silly pictures taken, tapi tak pernah shared, just to lift my own stinking mood...here's another one taken from the box of Juan punya M.Mobile special edition Mawi yang dia menang tu (merasalah dah amik pic ngan Mawi masa kat bilik air time Festival Filem Malaysia untuk jadikan wallpaper).Ever watched the Coneheads?

I try laughing... tapi somehow nothing seems funny today.

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