Sunday, July 09, 2006

Macam $%^&

WHAT THE #$%^&$# IS ASTRO TRYING TO PROVE???!!!

Gila ke haper nak wat gimik murahan takde tujuan?

Sapa punya idea bangang nak wat lawak ala ala bebudak reject dari Konsert Prelude lak akan dapat peluang tuk masuk Akademi Fantasia?

For those of you who didn't watch the show - time meka umumkan pelajar yang tersingkir, they also announced the highest voted student too, yang akan dapat peluang untuk memilih seorang teman yang kena sepak kuar dari Konsert Prelude, to join in the Akademi.

Sensasi lawak bangap sebab lepas meng-stresskan Farhan pelbagai kerana dia la yang kena wat pilihan, tetiba pas Farhan pilih Leez, diumumkan lak yang si reject ni akan dok Akademi seminggu tuk alami apa yang bebudak alami... meaning she will get all the coaching (carbs... carbs... carbs... - how interesting) and assignments that bebudak lain akan dapat.

Budak tu juga akan perform the next concert.

Tapi kelakarnya, tak ada AFUNDI. Leez masuk tu ibarat holiday percuma murahan tanggungan Astro. Bangang tul. Tuh ler pasal orang yang diupah wat gimik pon 2 X 5 ngan idea yang patut masuk tong sampah je.

All the stress and for nothing.

To make it worse, aku tengok Leez hancur berkecai impian dia ingat da dapat masuk as a student for contention rupanya LAWAK BANGANG!

And the other kids yang in the competition? Dapat teman baru tuk menemai meka tapi takde real function cam Fifi the f***ed up Friskies feline.

It was stupid, misplaced, hurtful of Astro to do that, and memang tu dah mula membuktikan Akademi Fantasia is sliding to the standard of Popstar, Audition dan sebagainya.
Hah... tuh lum agik sebut bab concert!

Mari kita aktifkan... carutan konsert Akademi Fantasia keenam!

Lagu Bonus - Angguk Angguk Geleng Geleng (Ahli Fikir)
Farhan and Velvet hidupkan lagu ni ngan their bits. Great intro for the party tune which could have gotten everyone bopping, though the choreography for this was kiddish and patheticly silly.

Aku tak paham apa fungsi Lotter. Si Faizal tuh rap cam pesan nasi ayam kat medan selera Batu Tujuh. Diddy and Amirul were ok tapi Haziq cam keta terbabas kat the slopes of Genting Highlands.

Talk about an accident! Horrible tul!
Budak kecik yang di bawa jadik guest tuh anytime better than ALL the kids sebab tengok dia punya body movements and rapping pun lebih standard.

So now we know the real standard of pelajar Akademi Fantasia.

And what the hell was up with DJ Uno? Farhan baru nak start another verse, and Diddy was backing her up, tiba-tiba the song went dead and Uno pose cam Miss Universe (merasalah Andrea Fonseka duta Petal sesuai ngan muka kuih bulan dia tuh)

Nak geram bab tuh, lagik mendidih aku Farhan menyanyi terpaksa pegang bahagian dada dia sebab baju yang di pakai TIDAK SESUAI!!! Takut melimpah keluar lak segala isi sebab it was soft plunging top she wore that could hardly contain any of Farhan's ample assets. Bodoh ker haper meka ni???!!!

Tuh ler pasal amik Rizalman.

Astro ni bab tertentu bangang nak mampos!

Tak tahu ke beza fashion designer ngan image consultant.There IS a difference. And tak semestinya sorang fashion designer knows what is best (or knows at all) the different style approached of different music genres.
If nothing else kalau da tau lagu tuh nak nari, perlu ke baju camtuh???
Rating klubbkidd : (Could have been four stars tapi tolak satu sebab Uno bangang and satu lagi sebab Rizalman bangang)

Faizal - Senandung Anak Laut (Kembara)
Nampaknya skang bila orang diundang sebagai guest artiste bukan lagik tuk surprise tapi shameless self-promotion.

As much as I respect orang lama cam S. Sahlan and A. Ali, what the heck was that solo intro for? The spotlight is on the student performing the song... perlu ke nak intro lagu dulu tunjuk skill and all.

To make matters worse, stage center je si Faizal... ya ampun!!! Baju dia... Alagappa's and Baba's ke yang sponsor?

Apa kenanya lagu tuh ngan baju ala Deepavali sale?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???!!!

Faizal wasn't all that hot either. He started low, and was just mumbling to himself. The beginning as Adlin pointed out was muffled and non audible.

Like Adnan Abu Hassan, I found his action of cupping his ear with his hands (so rock kongkang - not rock kangkang ek).

Slip of tongue perhaps, tapi Faizal didn't even know the names of both of the big men that backed him and Aznil had to prompt him.

"Terima kasih kerana jayakan konsert saya."

Gi mamposlah!!!

This is getting ridiculous! Dahler pemalas. Show ala kadar. Hish!

No progress tul si Faizal. Dok enam minggu dalam Akademi, from first week lagu semua ala ala selamat je, no improvement at all.
Rating klubbkidd : (Could have been three, but he was so irritatingly smug)

Lotter - Da'Bomb (Ruffedge)
It was so low lah, even for Astro nak bak tunjuk bak parents Lotter berjalan, nitis airmata....etc.

It was emotional blackmail for audiences to vote him (obviously cause they can't vote him for talent because he sucks)

I think this whole distiction of different backgrounds and all is so lame. They did this with Mas, and it's no different with Lotter. Perlu ke undi simpati???

Kalau nak anggap AFUNDI tu sebagai biasiswa, then people, make sure you ask for a refund cause this boy ain't worth the money!

Dari permulaan lagu je, terbukti segala yang di ajar cikgu Syafi tak ada effect langsung. Sengau dia bukan seperti nyanyi ngan hidung, but through his rear orifice (that means lubang)
Tempo... pitching...anything that could have gone wrong did. And everyone had to hear all that while watching bounce around like some possesed clown!

Aznil saved the show for him.

Worst joke of the night?

Ketiga pengkritik puji dia.
Rating klubbkidd : (Seperti biasa untuk performance Lotter)

Haziq - Seruan (Lefthanded)
On again to wardrobe.Kenapa ni... letih tau nak komen pasal bab ni yang tak maju-maju walaupun Akademi Fantasia dah empat musim dah!

Nampaknya walaupun Yoda diketepikan wat sementara, the force lives on ler ngan Rizalman tetap mempunyai idea-idea tuk baju yang seolah datang ilham time tengah dodok atas jamban.

Nyanyi rock tapi pakai baju cam orang buta kat Kotaraya (meka pun pakai elok agik) yang pegi ke masquerade party dressed in a pop yeh yeh theme,selepas balik mancing ikan kat Pulau Carey. SEDIH!!!!

As with the motif of the performances of the night, it gets WORSE (hard to imagine but it does)
Apa punya budak si Haziq ni kata kaki concert ler haper ler... air guitar pun tak reti ke?
Again, every single problem imaginable with his singing and body language took over his persembahan.

Yang penting... enam minggu, tetap pose anxiety disorder tuh jer ler time dia wat show.
Sebelum masuk bridge, Seruan tiba-tiba menjadi lagu asli midway.

Pengkritik semua redeem themselves bila meka pon pening sampai nak propah kata bagus performance dia pon takleh sebab ternyata keburukan teramat.

Akibatnya?

Pas abih performance, Aznil mintak Haziq bukak spek itam dia tanak... meka kat dewan nampak dia asik kesat air mata. Nangis in between entah berapa lama.

Haper punya binatang punya perangai ler lemau camni???

Sapa ler yang banyak sangat duit nak bazir kat mangkuk hayun ni?

Cuba derma memana lagik elok.
HAZIQ... GO HOME!!!! TO YOUR PLANET!!!
Rating klubbkidd : (Bonus dapat satu bintang sebab puas ati gelak dia nangis cam budak tiga tahun yang kurang kalsium jatuh pokok pas kena marah jangan panjat. Sado masochistic tul aku! Tapi kalau dia tak, aku bagi dia historic no star effort da)

Velvet - Run Baby Run (Sheryl Crow)
Honestly, I didn't expect much from Velvet sebab aku rasa lagu ni takde cabaran bagi dia vocally.

But the moment she started aku terpukau sampai buku nota aku kosong tak catat apa-apa.
It was a little bumpy here and there in terms of her body language, but it wasn't overwhelming. In fact, whatever flaw she had will only be noticed when I see the replay of her performance because I was too mesmerised by her vocals masa dalam dewan.

Adlin brought up a valid point in how Velvet didn't really understand the perspective of the song, but I thought it was silly to do that since Lotter pun dia tak carut.

Forget Raja Azura ler... she went on some stupid irrelavant tip of how Velvet kena gedik. Gila ke haper?

Standard English Faizal ke tak paham lirik mintak orang gedik tak bertempat.

One MAJOR problem... again was baju.

Apahal nyanyi lagu Sheryl Crow, tapi pakai baju ala ala pinjam dari Aishah time Aishah & The Fan Club time 80an punya pesen???!!!

And back-up (gelak sebab Haziq sambung nitis airmata agik pastuh) lak apa hal choreography 4U2C?
Rating klubbkidd : (Tambah satu bintang sebab mampu membuai yang berhati batu cam aku)

Diddy - Airmata Kasih (R.Azmi & Kamariah Ahmad)
Aku distracted time ni, sebab pas commercial break turn Diddy baru Haziq berani muka spek itam pose moka toya sentap.

I believe Diddy did feel the song, but I don't know what's his problem in physically emitting the emotions of the song to the audience.

Bab penghayatan, aku bagi mom dia 5 bintang!

His level of stage awareness is high sebab aku nampak dia usaha nak dominate the stage with his movements.

Unfortunately... for slow numbers like this, it looked like trying too hard sebab he was too conscious and self-aware.

Other than that it was a vocally pleasing performance, walaupun pengkritik mengarut meroyan meraban apa ntah (da sora Lotter pun meka leh kata besh camna)
Kak Engku finally ada function tuk malam tu, bila dia carut baju Diddy yang tak kena ngan lagu.
Rating klubbkidd :

Farhan - Kopi Dangdut (Fahmi Shahab)
The good : Puas ati sebutan dia which brought out the flavour of the song. Her energy level and stamina bagus gila walaupun aku budget dia akan semput, but she maintained her vocals well throughout.

Walaupun ramai tak rasa camtuh, but dangdut is one of the hardest and most physically demanding tunes to carry, and from this aspect, Farhan excelled.

Even her gelek pun walaupun tak smooth sangat, but still ok ler.

Oh yes, and there was that thing with Diddy and Velvet they did which I don't think they caught on camera. Hilarious!

Kelakar tahap terburai isi perut tul.

The bad : She didn't really get the plot of the genre. I know she tried, tapi dia tak cukup gedik and seductive as a teaser (merasalah kak Engku tetap blab on about how gedik you have to be).
The ugly : Baju haper tuh? Dangdut ke....morally wayward 'bohsia' kat Central Market. Jeans siap lipat ke atas tuh ingat ke pasar nak beli ikan ke?
Rating klubbkidd :

Amirul - Sedang Ingin Bercinta (Dewa)
I don't understand why they bothered with the dancing in this song.

Then I realised... what else can Amirul do?

Berbekalkan Velvet sebagai props bergerak paling gigih (sibok tol Adlin camni ke sana kemari pun leh kata dia berat nak gerak), Amirul SUCKED big time on the vocals.
BUT...kali ni, dia did better than Lotter and Haziq for this week sebab bab tarian dia excel.

Singing?

Was he???

Rating klubbkidd : (Dua bintang tuk skil tarian and entertainment value. Vocal hancur tapi tak sampai tahap nak denda lak tolak bintang)

Lagu Bonus - To Sir With Love (Lulu)
This song should have been sub-titled To Sir With Love (You Don't Know Or Care I'm Just Miming Badly).

Dahler nama lagu bonus berkumpulan, tapi bebudak pompuan je nyanyi.

I caught Diddy and Haziq as well as a little of Amirul (attempting to sing) the backup, tapi Faizal dan Lotter MIMING je!!!

And Faizal was so bad at it that he didn't even move his lips in time.

It was like watching a badly dubbed episode of Oshin, Moero Attack or Doraemon.

Or more accurately a Bruce Lee movie.

Dahler intro perlu ke that little acting bit tu?

Tacky!!!

Made it look like a bad round of Sinaran : Paspot Kegemilangan or Audition (and we know how well THAT did)

And for all that, none of the pengkritik yang bertugas even noticed. Bangap tol!

Merasalah tuh pun kak Engku kata bagus. Gila ke haper?
Tau ler ko pekak, tapi perlu ke buta sekali?

And in true Akademi Fantasia 4 style, promo lagik skali, kali ni tuk Blooming florists kerana sponsor bunga meka bagik kat cikgu ala sambutan Hari Guru (time ni paling banyak paling banyak curi tulang berpura-pura conversation ngan tenaga pengajar)
Rating klubbkidd : (Untuk Farhan and Velvet saja. Diddy and Haziq commendable for trying while Amirul, Faizal and Lotter were just a big waste of time)

I have no idea what's happening, but this is proving to be the CRAPPIEST season of Akademi Fantasia in the four year history of the programme.

Mark my words... kalau trend undian ni berterusan, Velvet will be the next to go.
It's been predictable for the two or three weeks, and she seems to be the next following the trend.

So time to refocus.

AFUNDI hanya tiga orang da. AFUNDI FARHAN, AFUNDI VELVET dan AFUNDI FAIZAL (dia pun aku da mula tak kuasa, but daripada Amirul, Lotter or Haziq...)

Okler, check out these other blogs for some different takes of the show :
mentallydisturbed (upset tul terus balik bila Diddy eliminated)
mY kopitiam (saingan aku tuk jumlah dosa ngan molot yang leh tahan)
badrulaftersix (Diddy's guardian angel)
maddox24 (alternative views which are more polite)
5thE (Yoda's enemy)
Lea Laurielle (siap make-up tips lagik)

By the way,aku tatau ler whether you guys noticed or not, tapi antara tamu yang hadir, DJ Dave.

The funny part of the whole thing of seeing him was that he was sporting this goatee and really looked kinda erm...well.

You see the picture pun ko leh tangkap sendiri ler.

And THAT made him look him an Amitabh Bachan impersonator!

Kecuali aku rasa erm...the big A looks a lot more distinguished and all ler. Sibuk gelak dari jauh aku bila tengok (couldn't help it ma.. he was in my line of sight or whatever you call it.

Colouring his hair (not his goatee thought) makes him a tad impressive, not to mention his facial fur is well trimmed and quite exquisite.

Er...what's with the Spiderman theme for the t-shirt?

Yeap... the concert was that boring sampai benda camtuh pun leh amuse aku.
Camna tuh?

This really shows how bad the show was. SERIOUSLY!!!

So here's hoping Astro takes notes.

I hope you guys too will help, not just by AFUNDI untuk kayakan Astro lagi, but speak out of your dissatisfaction and what you think is wrong with thw whole scenario.

Start by leaving comments in blogs, forums...and kalau nak kayakan Astro at @15 (tuh pun kalao tak kena censored).

Right here, right now... leave your comments below and tell the people at Astro that something is seriously wrong, and maybe they should wake up from their daydream that Akademi Fantasia doesn't need to change because it's the No. 1 show on TV.

Your say is important... so that they know bukan kami-kami saja yang bersuara, and that there is a siloent majority who agrees that this show needs a breath of fresh air (and a new wardrobe and image consultant, among others).




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