Monday, May 29, 2006

Salimah ke slimy?-lah??

Kalau pelik tengok cartoon strip kat bawah...ni laa cartoon baru inspired by She-Ra : Princess of Power yang popular zaman 80an. This one is called Sali-Ma : Princess of Propah! (kalau paham perkataan tuh ok ler...tak paham jangan tanya)

Yeap...when the going gets tough...Sali-Ma mengunakan kuasa ala She-Ra and goes..."by the power...of sympathy votes!"

Dan terus...*zast!*...leh layak masuk Akademi Fantasia...

They say all good things must come to an end. And while semalam, aku happy sebab calon-calon Akademi Fantasia yang aku paling tak gemari in Tasha, Jeff and Shaz didn't make the cut, Salima did. Nyampah aku...nyanyi tetap berterabur...tetap dapat masuk...biasalah kalau dapat jadik income generator. I mean...there will be idiots voting for simply because of what she wears.

Well...all I can say is...pakai tudung tak semestinya menggambarkan something. I mean...setakat kalau pakai tudung, tapi pakai baby tee kekadang ngan lurah dendam sebab v neck...or tight pants which show off your booty...still....renung-renungkanlah...malas aku nak meroyan pasal pompuan tuh!

So apa evaluation aku? Well...I'll get to that pasni. First mari kita tengok what I thought of the whole concert.

Bermula ngan Hazama. Ya ampun...penting ke???Ok so you got a big voice. Tapi gelek bodoh tuh supposed to be cute ke? Amateurish showmanship at best! Aku tengok dia...tul gak kata orang gila dok sebelah aku. Dia seolah nak ikut trademark Mawi nak wat gelek-gelek dan tarian-tarian yang pelik...konon nak tarik crowd. Then again...masa Mawi buat dik Hazama...dia natural camtuh. Merasalah...ni nak jadi penyanyi ke audition jadi badut katanya!

Next up was Tasha yang wat lagu Sangkar Emas.Ok, I admit she didn't sound too bad ler. Imagine Siti Nurhaliza punya carbon copy, tapi with an Eighties sound. She sounded better than what I gave her credit for, no doubt, tapi aku rasa standard dia ni masuk karaoke competition jer lah.

One of my popular guesses in Amirul ni, aku ngaku dia banyak masaalah pitching. But I love his voice cause it was almost in falsetto throughout, which is not a sora jantan, tapi still merdu (untuk laki leh katamerdu kah???!!!)

Bayangkan amik Daniel lembik juara Malaysian Idol II, genetically combine Saipul from the first season of Idol, teach them to sing, and you'd have Amirul. Matilah blog aku pasni roboh kena hamun ngan peminat Idol. Tak suka? Berambusss!!!

My only worry untuk Amirul, apart from suara dia yang stereotype category Radhi OAG, can he do anything else? Still...at this point of the show, Amirul ler sorang je stakat ni yang hold my attention.

It was on to more mediocrity after Amirul ngan Lynn.
Aiyo...dok si Aznil cita pasal minah ni nyanyi wedding, terbayang aku cita The Wedding Singer, cause she sounds just like that. Vomit inducing gituh. While most people dismiss dangdut, the genre bukan senang nak bawak, and she simply had no ability to wow with Kau Pergi Tanpa Pesan.

Seperti si Lynn, Liya was another one of my disappointments yang tak layak....tapi aku tak merungut sebab dia pun gagal menyerlah.

I thought she was just ok....walaupun baju purple dia ala dari Jalan Masjid India. Astro bila lah nak insaf pasal bab wardrobe ni. Ni lah akibat simpan orang kertu nak decide what's fashionable. Tolongler...back to Liya, her problem with diction was excusable, but not her inability to maximise her vocals.

Si Shaz ni where do I start ah? Camno la tengo sotong sora singa ni? He could have possibly made the cut with a little confidence and the right song...but now we'll never know kan?
Kalau Tasha aku kata karaoke, Shaz ni layak tuk lounger singer je...satu anak tangga bawah Tasha. And a bad lounge singer at that ok! There was no climax, and I was left waiting for when the bloody song nak ada part emosi aku akan bergelora, sesuai ngan the song. Excuse me? You mean it's over???!!!

And it just got worse and worse. Leez was totally unprepared. Tempo lari ala Ben Johnson on steroids! She just didn't embrace the music...it was jarring and she sounded constipated and strained in so many spots.

Rich started well, tapi sampai first chorus jer semput gila babas! Aku rasa cam kes buasir...seksa tengok muka dia gara-gara nak keluar suara.

After half the night of ho-hum punya shows, it was on to the real stuff!

Faizal kicked it off with Pelangi Petang. Ok...so it was a little disturbingly Sudirman, and the showmanship a little too RTM drama queen ler, tapi all in all, dia the first to really grab me and mesmerise me with the total package.

And then, picking up with Route 66, was Farhan who brought it a notch higher.

Awmigawd...soulful gila babas ok! She was absolutely the freaking BEST! No doubts. In fact, she was in a league of her own, and no one, until the end of the night, even came close!

The only flaw was her pelat...biasaler lidah Melayu...sebut sixty six, "sixty sick".

Lain dari tu, memang orang takkan sangka ler kalau kata dia ni masuk pertandingan. You could have put her into MTV's Faking It and passed her off as a jazz singer or something like that.

Kalau tahun lepas, Azliff the pink rocker wat lawak bodoh Isabella dia ngan lawak overdramatic, kali ni giliran Haider. Mamat ni cam tak sedar untungnya nak bagik dia peluang kedua ni. I mean...he made me more pissed off that Isa tak dapat peluang kedua sebab si Haider ni sia-siakan je peluang diberikan.

Memulakan show ngan aksi garu siku, it looked like he didn't know what to do. Mungkin dia ingat rock kapak ni laku, dan nak tampilkan diri dia sebagai rempit kot. Hello...Haider...nak jadik rempit pun kena ada skill tau. Bukan sebarangan orang leh wat rock kapak. There was no need for theatrics...dari ala merayu, dia nampak cam ala meroyan dan mengamuk. Aku kalau dok front row tempat keluarga Jeff tuh, aku da lari tuk exit terdekat sebab takut Haider terkam aku dan gigit aku! He looked like he would do that...

Karen picked the right song. Sebab satu malam lagu-lagu ala dull dan membosankan, minah Kelate ni pilih lagu lively sikit.

It wasn't quite the competition song (because anyone can sing better than Fauziah Latiff), but she seemed confident, lively and spirited. Semangat ler kalao cakap Melayu. Kekadang dia nampak kekok sikit atas pentas

Yang next si Velvet. Aku bab dia ni...aku salute. Sebab aku underestimated her. Sebelum ni sora dia ala nyaring, nipis, tapi malam tadi, she was amazing. Mendayu without mengilai, she displayed good control ler of her voice.

Kalau contestant lain pakai baju ala tak pakai bra (Astro takde budget kot), Velvet untung sebab mak dia bak baju ngan riben tambahan untuk elak fesyen payudara lanjut seperti dialami oleh para peserta yang lain.

Jeff? What can I say? Memang tone sora dia sedap, and even though dia bukan antara favourite aku, he has potential. Cuma dia ni...takde tarikan to the mass audience...and seriously, his personality and attitude tak appeal langsung on the stage. Nampak cam he thinks he's too good for competition. Cam seorang peserta musim lepas je attitude...

Nora lak masaalah sama ngan Tasha. Mengeran dan tak keluar suara.

Haziq continued the irritation. Seriously while a lot of people thought he was cute in his performance, aku think of him as nothing than a lousy clone of Ahmad Jais. Seriously kan...how do you sell an 18 year-old yang sound like an 80 year-old???!!!
With him, there appeared to be a distinct lack of personality and more important, versatility in style.

Never mind cam ada yang komen dia nyanyi pegang microphoen ala vibrator! Cam nak orgasm jer ngan mic tuh. But I have to say vocal projection dia bagus sebab walaupun nervous, it didn't affect him like a lot of the others.

In fact, Haziq bab tuh, quite among the best sebab sora dia clear and his pronunciation concise.
Diddy was an average singer to me (merasalah aku kena hamun ngan president Dazzling Diddy FC, naib presiden and communication director pasni!) Sora besar...tapi tak reti gunakan.

Mungkin salah lagu, tapi I think he was just totally uninspiring.

Zila seemed to have the same problem walaupun she did better with her dangdut attempt in Rindu. Gelek dia tak power, just like her voice. Cukup makan aja...nasib baik she made it.

Lotter came on next and I have to say this is one amazing boy! He did his own take of Sunday Morning and I have to say, I laughed like hell throughout sebab sora dia ala gabungan Jackson 5, Donald Duck dan The Chipmunks.

He was one of the more honest performers of the night tanpa berangan feel star.Cuma part dance feeling Michael Jackson aku geli ler sikit...but he was an eye opener and the living proof that you should never judge someone by their looks.

And last...and I have to say the least...Salima. Tolonglah!!!

What the freak was she up to? Memang aku da kata dia ni feeling ratu airmata dan peraih simpati yang memanipulasikan penonton. Masa Prelude pun...meleleh tak abih-abih...merasalah Astro abih budget tuk waterproof mascara jer...

Geli aku...sora terbabas nak mampos! I think she was easily one of the worst performers of the night. Camna laa juri pilih. Ini mesti atas dorongan yang buta dan pekak yang undi simpati/undi sebab dia bertudung.

Please ler korang...berapa kali nak cakap. Jangan judge someone based on what they wear. I mean...adus...lantak ler korang.

If you were crying konon emo nyanyian dia...then you should be crying cause you're losing your hearing! Aku tengok dia nyanyi...dengo....nangis gak...but for all the wrong reasons...

Untuk someone like Farhan yang otustanding gila...compared to someone like Salima yang melalak off key off pitch off her with her head...Salima yang dapat perhatian. Gila ker haper???
Dahler...lantak ler korang.

Anyway...sempat ler kan gosip sesana sini pas abih. Rata-rataaku puas ati...tapi tuh lr pasal. Salima je jadik peng-spoil mood aku. Binatang tul...rezeki dia la. Untuk satu peminat...dia akan ada seorang pengkritik. We'll see how long she lasts. Atas dasar kesian...atau apapun selain bakat, budak tuh akan malu gak in the end. Tengok je...sejarah dah membuktikan...

Aku kesian je yang patut tapi ebab agenda dan propaganda...tersingkir...well...life is never fair...
Tapi it wasn't all that bad a night...it was funny in some parts...especially when you have friends around to make you laugh.

Abang Bad menjadi perhatian kami sebab tengok stress level dia semakin memuncak suspen kalau Diddy dapat ke tak...susahnya nak jadik presiden fan club.

Si orang gila sorang ni lak dok merembes je keja teruja kerana Yazer dok belakang kita dan lepak ngan kita semalaman. Tu laa akibatnya kalao asik fantasise je pasal orang tuh...

But it was great to see Bob, Farah Zahid, Edlin...along with the rest cam Burn and Sahri as well as Felix and Akma (sedih terkenang cinta separuh jalan) along with sapa agik ek.. menari Menuju Puncak.

Abih je...dalam 1 pagik lebih tinggalkan perkarangan Astro pas sessi gossip sana sini...dan headed to the office nak wat page tuk esok punya news story for the concert and then update blog terus.

Oh by the way...something happened masa on the way ke Konsert Prelude.

Tengah rushing ke Astro sebab lambat pick up orang mental akibat lepak ngan orang tua aku (quality time ngan family ma dan bukan membetulkan eye liner seperti didakwa orang gila tuh)

Sampai kat Bukit Jalil...ya ampun...da cam giant parking lot. Keta tak gerak. Polis traffic feeling America's Next Top Model (elongtate...stretch those legs to make them look loonger etc)
Dok belakang the worst drivers in the universe, so aku naik ler road bully aku cilok sana sini.

Time potong line ni, sangkut depan polis sekoq ni. Binatang!

Time aku pemandu berhemah takde lak ko. Time orang cilok aku takde lak ko...Kena tahan terus. Aku tengah naik hangin satu badan...dia lak muka bengis datang kat aku dan persoalkan tau tak kesalahan aku lakukan.

Nak je aku maki...taulah...that's why I'm here and that's why you're there...bodoh!!!
Eee!!! Geramnya!!!

Pastu cakap slow motion kena saman ni...entah merapu...aku pun cakap, bebaik aku ada function kat Astro, dah lambat. Dia kata something along the lines of so what...and pun naik darah agik.

Kalau nak saman saman jer lah...heran ke? Dia taken aback sikit. Apa ingat aku nak bagik duit kopi ka? It's a crime to bribe (plus abang angkat aku semua leh tolong...gelak jahat!)

Masa amik smart card aku...dia tanya mana lesen? Why do they come across this way?

"Dah kat dalam tuh..."

"Oh..." You mean you don't know???

Dia slow motion balik ke motor dia nak tulis saman. Pas dekat limint baru nak kuar buku saman. Ingat aku nak merayu lah tuh!!!

Aku gerakkan keta aku blocking the two lane road. Orang semua dok horn aku...aku ok jer. Dia last-last mai balik hulurkan IC katakan takyah saman sebab lambat kalau nak saman (sapa suruh tanak belajar baca dan tulis) so dia lepaskan aku. Aku jeling je lah...am I supposed to be thankful? Kowser dia power trip ngan aku!

Aku jeling and threw my license on the dashboard.

"Terima kasih pun takde ke?" Sinis nya...pedasnya...ko wat muka bengis nak demand aku merayu...pastu nak aku tima kasih.

"PERLU KE NAK TERIMA KASIH?"

Merasalah kalau gila aku datang....if you don't treat people with respect, don't expect to be treated any differently.

You earn respect...you don't demand it!

Adus...I feel that way again...ok ler...nak balik tidur. Esok 11 pagi nak ke Astro tuk PC meka yang terkeluar Aku post pics esok jer la ek...dalam tengahari sekali ngan posting terbaru ok...ciao.

By the way...kalau ko antara beribu yang menyemak jalan gi tengok MY Team wat lawak lawan ngan team Malaysia....lain kali dok rumah je. Orang wat TV wat per bangang...menyusahkan orang lain je. Ada paham? Update again later this afternoon (Monday ler)

Untuk ulasan maha maut - click sini
Untuk ulasan fesyen show tajaan Kamdar - click sini

Reactions:

0 comments: