Friday, December 31, 2004

Freak test!

Things are getting depressing. Time to turn away for just a moment and lighten up.

Need a breather between finishing my gossip column for Monday - hence the reason for being in the office at this un-Godly hour - despite being on leave.

Came across this. Anyone's who's still a virgin (by choice or not) -though it doesn't matter - just afraid you may not know the first thing about what is reuired of the question - or below the age of consent in your area, forget taking part in this little test.

Award yourself the points shown for the question if you answer 'YES'.

The Freak Test
1. Have you ever had intercourse? (5 pts)
2. Oral Sex: Giving to Orgasm (5 pts),
Receiving (5 pts)
3. Licked an ass? (5 pts)
4. Had your ass licked? (5 pts)
5. Stuck your tongue in their ass? (10 pts)
6. Swallowed cum? (5 pts)
7. Practiced Bondage or BDSM? (5 pts)
8. Had anal sex? (5 pts)
9. Had an orgasm from anal sex? (5 pts)
10. Ever squirted or made someone squirt? (10 pts)
11. Squirted from oral or made someone squirt? (5 pts)
12. Had sex with someone of the same sex? (5 pts)
13. Did a threesome? (5 pts)
14. Did a foursome? (5 pts)
15. Been in an Orgy? (5 pts)
16. Been in a gangbang? (5 pts)
17. Had sex in public? (5 pts)
18. Snowballed (swapping cum) with someone? (10 pts)
19. Had your toes licked or sucked? (5 pts)
20. Licked or sucked someone's toes? (5 pts)
21. Had sex with more than one person (one on one only) in a day? (10 pts)
22. Had sex with more than one person (one on one only) in a week? (10 pts)
23. Had cyber sex or phone sex? (5 pts)
Reached an orgasm? (5 pts)
24. Watched porn? (5 pts)
25. Bought a dirty magazine? (5 pts)
26. Posted nude pictures of you on the net? (5 pts)
27. Let someone video tape you having sex? (5 pts)
28. Had sex without protection? (5 pts)
29. Had someone give you a cum facial or gave someone a cum facial? (5 pts)
30. Have you participated in any type of golden showers? (10 pts)
31. Have you let anyone or have you shit on anyone? (10 pts)
32. Had sex with a friend's significant other? (10 pts)
33. Ever did one of your significant others friends or relative? (10 pts)
34. Have you ever cheated on your significant other? (5 pts)
35. Made someone pass out from sex? (10 pts)
36. Tasted your own cum? (5 pts)
37. Masturbated? (5 pts),
Let someone watch you? (5 pts)
38. Ever showed you naked on cam? (5 pts)
39. Had sex while on your period or while someone was on their period? (10 pts)
40. Been ate or eaten someone? (10 pts)
41. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? (10 pts)
42. Had sex in a vehicle? (5 pts)
43. Been caught having sex? (5 pts)
44. Paid for sex? (5 pts)
45. Used toys during sex? (5 pts)
Used food? (5 pts)
46. Like pain from a little to extreme during sex? (5 pts)
47. Ever been dominated in bed? (5 pts)
48. Ever had a wet dream? (5 pts)
49. Like to have your ass slapped during sex? (5 pts)
50. Like having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten? (5 pts)
51. Had sex with someone you didn't know their name? (10 pts)

Scoring..
0 - 50 - Average man or woman (need to be a little more adventurous)
51 - 100 - Beginner Freak (keep up the good work)
101 - 150 - Big Freak (you're heading in the right direction)
151 - 200 - Professional Freak (you could charge for your services)
201 - 250 - King or Queen Freak (others will never forget you)
251 - 296 - over NASTY SUPER FREAK (you could write the book, teach the class, and hang the certificate on your wall)

And my result? Honestly I scored a 195 on it. Though on rechecking opn two dubious questions - I found subjectively - I had another 20 points in the offing - given circumstances which were not elaborated by the question.

If enough of you ask, I may reveal what I answered. Until then, have fun classifying your sexual prowess.

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