Monday, July 05, 2004

Those blues....

It's so hard to deal with the stinkin' blues when they come on.

I've never been reminded of my soulmate that much. It started out innocently enough, going for drinks, as potential friends nothing more... Strangely enough, I couldn't look at his face, it reminded me too much memories past.

So Ted was right. It's as if I already know my 'date' and have been together for ages, really fucking stupid of me. Sweet, not unlike my soulmate, and loved listening, which was where the similarity ended.

A few plus points and few flaws. It's really strange how the best parts of life, nostalgia, enhanced by time, seemingly makes everything an impossible standard set that can hardly be realistically be bettered. I miss my soulmate, and I've moved on, but the doppleganger now haunts me.

Sigh...Ini pun dia with Ted while I'm finishing my work, my stupid interview with Fitri of Akademi Fantasia. He was as clueless as Edlin last week, no wonder these losers were eliminated. Strangely though, with the doppleganger nearby when I had the interview, I however felt I could identify, after all, I'd been 'voted' off to. I lost to reality.

My life with my soulmate could never take place because the odds were stacked too highly against both of us ever making it together. How the mysterious twin that has emerged in my life will figure, is left to be seen.

We haven't connected more than friends, and sex is definitely not on my mind, but at times, I really have to restrain myself to stop from hugging just for comfort. But I don't want to do something that would hurt feelings, just because of looking like someone that used to really figure in my life.

It wouldn't be fair

... And to me. Letting go is such a bitch. They say sluts heal faster....why am I still stuck in a rut.

To make fucking matters worse, the current Akademi Fantasia rankings are hardly even worth looking at...

MAS 12%
ADAM 12%
LINDA 12%
KAER 12%
ZAHID 12%
ZARINA 9%
BOB 8%
FARAH 8%
ANDING 8%
NURUL 7%

I kind of agree with everything except what the fuck is that off-key bitch in Mas doing at the top still! God! And Adam, that pretty boy who whistles through his nostrils and calls it singing. Eew! I'm ecstatic Linda, Kaer and Zahid are deservedly in the Top 5, just with Zarina could move higher.

And can someone PLEASE in God's name, kick that whacked-ass Bob out! God, he is just so fucking irritating, like when you're having anal sex with someone hot and find out that you're lubrication and that miraculously he happens to be still a virgin. Er, not a good choice of words, but you understand what I mean. Got to go now blogger, finishing touches on my Fitri story and I got to see twin and Ted.


PS. Kalau yang dikatakan tengah membaca blogger saya ni, minta maaf lah banyak-banyak kalau terasa apa-apa. Saya masih tidak mempunyai niat apa-apa. I like you, but setakat kenalan, tapi cuma kadang-kadang terasa pula ada keingingan memanjakan kamu saja, nak melindungi kamu dari segala kepahitan kamu tengah lalui.
Harap kamu dapat faham isi hati saya...

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