Semalam was a damn emotional day for me. I don't know....

Ada je yang tak betul...

Day started out fine enough, rushing for a meeting. Nak pastikan lagu tuk artis company, kerana ada perubahan strategi. So meeting punya meeting, lom ada hasil. Bukan apa... memang betol kata penasihat. Pastikan produk berkualiti, bukan main tangkap muat. Tapi lagi sekali sangkut soal recording jap.

Tengah meeting, Marlia Musa sampai. Nak amik benda. Dia khabarkan Alam (Zainal Alam Kadir), my former mentor at Malay Mail - yang korang leh layan tengok kat Pentas Anak Wayang tuh (tak tengok lagik live) kena H1N1.

Called Alam later, and he confirmed it. Tengah dok bilik hospital. Amik ko kuarantin.

Cita nya da dua hari dia kena kuarantin, and bila sah positif, kena lagik kurung tiga hari. Skang pasnih, kalao everything ok, dia kena berkurung lak kat rumah selama seminggu without any contact. Amik ko!

But Alam is ok, and kita borak pasal bab keja. Dia dulu editor aku ketika wat hiburan kat Malay Mail, and we'll be working together again coming up soon. Merasalah the old team is comng back in place!

Anyway, abih meeting gerak balik.

Sempat gayut ngan Faz jap update berita terbaru terkini bagai. Korang da vote dia tuk Shout Awards? Kalao lom, masuk sini by CLICKING HERE. Incidentally, the awards pada hari birthday aku on 17 July, and kebetulan aku aan kembali bertugas menulis juga pada hari tu. Talk about comebacks.

Anyway pastuh disaster struck.

Malas nak cita in detail. All I can say is, aku malas da jaga hati orang. Kekadang kan, bila amik berat orang, people just take it for granted. And at some point, you just have to take a step back and declare that ko takkan wat keja kebajikan agik. Tak guna. Hati retak seribu ngan hinaan akibat kemarahan, susah nak repair. Amik ko... korang tak paham pon kan rintihan nasib aku. Takpela... buat buat faham pada orang yang tengah noya nih.

By the way, so far, just confirm I will not be part of Konsert Reunion Akademi Fantasia. Not officially. Adalah drama lagik tuh. Takpe... bukan rezeki. Camtuh lah kalao gamaknya kalao kena bajet je dan harap sponsor yang hado.

Of course, when I say I'm not going, I'm saying as part of the production. Dalam kedudukan lain lom tau ek. So I MIGHT be going still.

So noya for pretty much a good part of the night.

Dengan kesibukan perah mental seharian, nak abihkan planning bebenda semua, tak cukup tidur - tak sampai tiga jam dalam the past 48 jam, and tiredness setting in, added with masaalah tak perlu, it pretty much f*cked up the rest of the night for me.

Takpe. Janji aku da bebas belenggu emosi bab nih. Sometimes when people push you too far, it's just what you need to just back off. And I have chosen to.

Tapi sebab noya bagai takde mood, tak sempat jumpa Bob dan Shuib sebelom meka berlepas ke KLIA nak ke LA for the World Championship of Performing Arts. Harap-harap, Bob, Sarah dan semua wakil Malaysia will make us proud!

Sempat berSMS je ngan meka, and here's all the best to them for the coming week of competition.

By the way, one of the songs Bob akan nyanyi, in the R&B category tak silap aku, is my suggestion. Korang penah tengok filem Hairspray kan? Well, remember lagu yang dinyanyikan Queen Latifah? It's called I Know Where I've Been.



Anyway... going to bed now. Time time ni la insomnia aku set back in and no Xanax to pop. Cam kesial! Oh well.. here's to a new day... erm... today. To friends, I'm switching off my handphone and all, so will be out of contact. Aku nak bertapa jap. Need time to myself.


PS - To those yang lom vote for me for the Ikea Go Clean Your Room grand finals round, please CLICK HERE and go and vote for me! If you need more info, scroll below and read prevous entries. Not voting closes TOMORROW! So VOTE, VOTE and VOTE! Get friends and family to do it. Last kopek da nih!

Damn gotta rush this entry sebab nak keluar dah. Memang kelam kabut sikit hari ni sebab plans pushed earlier semua. So hate to be up at this unGodly hour. That alone tells you how much I am NOT a morning person.

Apapon da la tak cukup tidur semalam. Ni kena bangun awal! Benci!

Smalam ada several things happened.

One was kecoh ada member cita sana sini pasal something that happened. Erm.. tak yah aku cita sini. All I can say is, when karma bites you on the ass, MAN DOES IT BITE HARD! Mintak mintak orang berkenaan amik ikhtibar apa yang berlaku. Things happen for a reason. And that reason is wasted kalao masih tak sedar, dan perbaiki diri pas apa yang berlaku.

Aku tak tepuk tangan dengan apa yang berlaku, tapi sekadar mengharapkan, orang tu akan sedar apa dikatakan selama ni ada merit. Jangan salahkan orang lain je.

Kalao betul ada peluang lain, beringatlah saja jangan ulangi kesilapan sama.

Erm... bab lain. Perkembangan. Yeap, it does look like aku akan kembali ke bidang penulisan. Tapi nanti aku story agik kang da confirm. Apapon, company tetap akan jalan as planned, just banyak sikit keja aku pasni. Cari duit ma.. nak pakai Hummer sebelom umur 40 tapi takde bapa yang Datuk camtuh la gamaknya.

What else... owh... story bodoh.

Semalam nak ke RTM sebenarnya, nak catch the rehearsal tuk rakaman band indie tuk Raya. Kata je indie, tapi diselit persembahan special Liyana Jasmay. Amik ko.. indie ke. Me thinks RTM tak paham konsep.

Tapi yang kelakar masa nak on the way tuh, dapat call dari bebudak 6ixth Sense. Kisahnya kansel! Sebab?

Well it's an outdoor event. Pastuh, al kisahnya kan hujan semalam. Some bright person tak pikir nak jaga mixer bagai. Masuk air hawau! Meletup la gamaknya, kansel terus soundcheck dan rehearsal. Amik ko!

Smart!

Owh...also ada la kawan mengumpat masa time lepak, ada sorang producer hebat ni, kisahnya bangga sangat kutuk orang.

Time Michael Jackson punya memorial, decided nak kongsi pendapatnya yang begitu bernas sana sini pasal the show and all. Erm... whatever. Orang tu memang semakin jadik laughing stock gamaknya. Malaih nak campo...

Anyway smalam lepak kat McDonalds kat Bangsar in the end pas soundcheck kansel. Dah la nak carik tempat kat smoking section yang cantik. Ada mamat tidur mati selamba je! Sial!



Tension nya mamat tuh. Tido berejam agik tuh! Menyusahkan je kita terpaksa dok dalam. Masa kuar isap rokok, kita siap nyanyi Heal The World lagik, nak adakan memorial tuk dia. Manalah tau kalao memang da leh siap tuk dikapankan.

Macam haram mai tempat public camni tuk membuta.

Eh... tanak lambat tuk meeting. Nak gerak dulu. Malam ni aku update agik.

By the way... korang da vote aku tuk Ikea Go Clean Your Room contest ke belom? More or ess two days left... PLEASE VOTE! Tak sampai seminit je tuk tolong undi aku. Read the previous entry to find out how. Later...

I'm actually up early this morning.. so you know this only either means aku cukup tidur atau aku memang tak tidur langsung.

Well, actually a little bit of both.

Aku sempat tidur, but definitely tak cukup and I will have to take a snooze later.

Anyway, wanted to update you guys a little. Sebab da lama tak cita anything pasal Akademi Fantasia ataupon bebudak kan? Hari tu I mentioned kan the actual date for the Akademi Fantasia Reunion Concert will actually be on Sunday, 26 July?

Well, apparently, the actual confirmed date is now pushed back to 25 July. The simple reason being, I think people in Kuching are aware that another major event in Jom Heboh is taking place on that night. So nak bagik peluang kat orang sana nak enjoy, and avoid potentially splitting the crowd for both events, so the reunion show will now be moved a day earlier back to its earlier rumoured date.

The kids begin recording next week for a couple of days from 13 to 15 July, and a then spend a few more at rehearsals for the show from 18 to 22 July. They will be in Kuching from 23 to 26 July.

Now in between all that on 14 July will the launch of Hafiz's mini album in KL. Tapi from what I've heard, the day before the reunion, there will also be a Kuching launch.



Alamak... sibuk gila nampaknya time tuh (kalao aku jadik ikut). Tapi sesapa peminat Akademi Fantasia serempak kang, jangan lupa my birthday on 17 July (matilah aku kena carut promosi besday sendiri).

Oh well... life's too short. Celebrate every moment.

A little bit more update on Akademi Fantasia from 27 July to 2 August... word is it'll be shot in Melaka. And I've gotten word aku dijemput turut serta. Aiyo.. besnya... terharu aku. It will be the real reunion cause as far as I've heard, tenaga pengajar musim ketujuh pun akan turut serta (mintak mintak Ida da ok by then so she can join).

Ok... puas korang aku da update? Heh... nanti aku update agik la word on Akademi Fantasia punya reunion plans.

For now, aku still reeling from the whole trauma of realising the King of Pop is actually gone. But oh well... time to move on kan. Sadly enough... still keeping tabs on updates though.

Anyway, speaking of updates, korang still remember that I'm in the Ikea Go Clean Your Room Contest kan? There's more or less three days to go until the voting closes on 12 July, so guys, please.. PLEASE keep voting for me! If you have voted, mintak, paksa, pujuk, rayu kengkawan, keluarga and geng kat opis undi tuk aku.

Anggap pelaburan la tuk besday present aku sebab the results come out on 15 July, just two days before my 33rd birthday (is that a hint enough?). Ikea people take note too tau. Matilah aku leh hint sampai camtuh.

Apapon, sapa da lupa camna vote, or where to go, CLICK HERE for the 'step by step' guide.

As of 7.30am, here's the standings for now. Sapa yang tatau, erm... my entry is under my full name, Joseph Lee Cheng Kim tau!



Thanks for the push guys. For now aku leading... but it won't be that way for long, I'm sure. Keep voting ok?

Here's my videos, the before one that got me in the top 5 and won me RM2,000 for the makeover, and the after, which I cleaned the mess up four days later. Note I did NOT throw anything out like what appears to have happened with some of the other rooms.

And also, I kept storage visible, which was a challenge since I had SO MUCH stuff. Not to mention some of the other rooms were pretty empty to begin with, so no challenge for them there camtuh.

And my choice for the look was simple, comfy, and yet stylishly functional though minimalistic. One of the reasons for that pon was because I wanted to tayang my CD collection, which actually forms a feature wall of sorts in my room with the Billy bookcases. If you guys like it, vote for me so I can get RM5,000 to add on (selagi nak makeover bilik orang tua aku lak)

Before



After


Now that you've seen that, VOTE HERE! (again aku pakai nama panjang aku, Joseph Lee Cheng Kim)

I gotta leave for the office now to do a little something. Esok ada meeting ngan producer nak bak jumpakan ngan talent J² for the first time.

Plans have changed quite a bit since last couple of weeks with all sorts of unnecessary drama, which brought a bit of delay. But now hopefully things will get back on track. Focus!

Ok.. got to run. Be blogging later. Nak rajinan diri hari ni pas hampir seminggu hibernasi dan ala ala dalam koma.

Labels: af, af7, akademi fantasia, concert, contest, go clean your room, ikea, konsert, reunion

Watched the Michael Jackson throughout its entirety while sitting in front of the laptop on Facebook and Twitter and communicated my grief with other fans of Michael Jackson from midnight to past 4am just now.

It was a wondrously moving event, and definitely a memorial fit for a king! No less the King of Pop!

When it started and they carried the coffin in, I just broke down in front of the TV and cried. This was a man, who made me believe in all things magical and beautiful about music, and the power of it.

Memang sedih, especially with the backing of the Andrae Crouch Choir with Soon and Very Soon. I don't know. Suddenly it hit home, that the real life Peter Pan... was gone.

It was also touching to see the Jackson brothers who also served as pallbearers, carrying in the coffin, with one single white sequined glove on each. Michael would have smiled at that.



And when Mariah Carey came on all choked up, emotionally perhaps, though revealing too much cleavage for a memorial for her own good, it just brought on more tears as she dueted with Trey Lorenz on I'll Be There.



Honestly, I was appreciating every moment of the memorial up to this point. Then Lionel Ritchie came on with a beautiful rendition of Jesus Is Love. This brought on the wave of idiots.

Beginning with one of my friends' Facebook comments from someone stupid in their list of friends. Malas aku nak komen mana la, but this person posted, "I'm hurt watchin his funeral now..how could they???", which was an obvious reference to the song having religious connotations.

I just blew up.

Do you know what a memorial is? It's an event that serves as a remembrance of a person passed on. It's to celebrate the life of the person, to engage those memories of when they were alive, and accept it as a closure to their passing. Too many big words? Then turn off your f*cking TV or computer if you're watching online. What the...

Bodoh gila! Do your homework, b*tch!

Yes, we all know that he reportedly changed his name to Mikaeel after he converted.

But here's the thing. The Jackson family, like Michael throughout his life, has been very quiet about Michael's religious inclinations, and have not revealed what religious aspects from what religion or religions might be incorporated into either his private or public memorials.

So it is up to them. You don't f*cking know him, b*tch, and you're not f*cking family! So shut the f*ck up. It's a memorial. We're celebrating his life! Not b*tch about what songs are chosen to be sung. Apalah.... benda macam ni pon ada nak feeling nak debat bagai.

Panas betol. As a Michael Jackson fan, I disregard whatever religious connotations with the memorial, and aku tanak bincang pasal agama. I just want to remember a man who has been pivotal in music for the last five decades unlike anyone else.

So bodoh gila! If you're not a fan, don't watch just because the world is watching. Michael, preached about healing the world, and how we are the world. Not b*tch about my f*cking memorial because it didn't suit you.

Tenang sikit hati aku when Stevie Wonder performed Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer. By the time Jennifer Hudson came on with Will You Be There, aku da sebak balik da. It's an emotional rollercoaster watching this, knowing that finally Michael won't be hurt by anymore scrutiny of his life that no one understood.

John Mayer, did an instrumental Human Nature backed by the choir, followed by brother Jermaine Jackson with Smile, what Brooke Shields said was his favourite song.

The song was from the Charlie Chaplin film Modern Times, written as an instrumental by Chaplin himself in 1936, but Michael recorded a version of it on his 1995 album HIStory. For those interested, the song has also been covered before by Elvis Costello, Michael Bolton, Nat King Cole, Michael Bublé, Barbara Streisand and Josh Groban.

The lyrics were beautiful, and Jermaine did a version like Michael's which brought on more tears.

"That’s the time you must keep on trying. Smile, what’s the use of crying? You find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.”

Menyayat hati sungguh.



Then came Usher's Gone Too Soon. When he walked down and touched the coffin... mmm... I don't know. The tears came again.



By this time, I was having another argument on Facebook. A 'friend' had changed her Facebook status to "thinks they're just overdoing the speeches at MJ memorial - yes, he's a great entertainer but he's not God.." I think this person just stayed up too late past her bedtime. No one mentioned him about being God. People were remembering the good things about him - which is like du-uh... what you do at a memorial.

Seriously so many people ignorant of what a memorial is. Argh!!! Ignorance is bliss - and stupidity is contagious.

She was reacting to Sheila Jackson Lee's speech. I personally liked it. She was eloquent (Sheila, not my ranting pissy friend). She stood up for Michael who no longer can defend himself. In retort to white supremacy, racist redneck Peter King's comments on Michael and how he was undeserving of such media attention over his death (still a WTF moment), Sheila said this.

"I can tell you as a member of the United States Congress, we understand law, and we know that people are innocent until proven otherwise, that is what the Constitution stands for."

Thank you Sheila. And thank you everyone who shared their memories of Michael who made us all feel just a little closer to him. Thank you Queen Latifah, Berry Gordy, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Brooke Shields, , the children of Martin Luther King and Kenny Ortega.

Reverend Al Sharpton came out with one of the best quotes of the night while addressing Michael's children. "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with."

I cooled down again when Shaheen Jafargholi came on with Who's Loving You. No one in America apparently has heard of the 12 year-old who came out seventh in Britain's Got Talent and apparently many were unaware that he was invited to perform because the boy was scheduled to be featured to perform with Michael in London.

Korang tengok persembahan dia. Damn.. this boy really has soul. By the way, He sang the same song during his audition of the talent show.



The finale was a group performance of everyone, led by Michael's backing singers singing We Are the World and Heal the World. More tears from me for sure. Kenny Ortega mentioned that the two songs, and how they were presented were intact as they were to be performed for the London This Is It show.



But the most moving moment, that made me break down, was the final word that night from a family member. Jermaine spoke, and after that was Marlon Jackson's moving speech on his brother, and how he asked Michael for a favour to hug his twin Brandon (who was a stillborn). Janet was supposed to speak next. but she seemed to think the spotlight deserved to at least one of the three who were supposed to speak up for Michael best.

And so, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson spoke. For the first time.



Sheltered like her brothers from the public eye all this while, this was the first time we got to hear at least one of Michael's children speak. She painfully shared only a few words. But everyone of them counted as she choked back tears before finally falling into Janet's arms.

She said this.

"I just want to say... ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you can ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him. So much!"

It just made me cry out.

People see Michael as a freak. A monster. A weirdo.

You can disregard the beauty of how much love he brought through his music. You can ignore the fact he inspired many generations, and more to come with his music and moves. You can disregard the barriers of race and religion he broke through with his success.

A lot have forgotten he was someone's son, brother... and yes, even loving father. You believe what you want to.

Michael is in a better place, and we the fans, got the closure we needed. As Marlon put it. Maybe now they'll leave you alone. We love you Michael. So much. Michael inspired us to come together. And now... it's as if the hope has died. But it lives... in his music. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that.

Need to rest now. Apart from the fact I have now gone 24 hours without sleep... am just so emotionally exhausted from this. It's a sad, sad time.

Labels: death, jennifer hudson, jermaine jackson, john mayer, lionel ritchie, mariah carey, memorial, michael jackson, paris michael katherine jackson, smile, staples center, stevie wonder, tribute, usher